IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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In the present
world
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 half of society thinks that there are
lots
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 of
opportunities
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 for
people
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. I agree with
this
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 statement and I am going to elaborate my take on upcoming paragraphs. The modern
world
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 extends with the global economy ,urbanisation and technological spread over the
world
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 immediately after new investigations. As an example, after the invention of the mobile phone, it has become the most common and necessary item for
people
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 without any age difference.
As a result
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 school child to elderly man experts to handle it.
Therefore
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, students do not need to examine
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lots
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 of books for their studies. They can google search and update their knowledge.
Also
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, by means of
one
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 item, they can find about nature, science, maths, agriculture, electronics and languages as well. So,
people
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 could develop various kinds of abilities.
Accordingly
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, they have
lots
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 of job
opportunities
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, scholarships and so on.
Additionally
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, they do not need to stay under
one
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 theme. They can migrate to another country, they can create their own business field or learn to develop a special modern farming method as well. So,
according to
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 my belief, there are
lots
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 of educational chances to improve self-esteem.
On the other hand
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, as an example, there are
lots
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 of entertainment
opportunities
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. All around the
world
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people
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 could share their experiments,audios, videos, songs,films,instruments, culture and ability.
Therefore
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, no
one
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 needs to cover in same traditional, or cultural beliefs. Editors can produce different films. Actors are able to choose various characters.
People
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 could be entertained by uncountable music,dramas,poems, videos and so on.
Additionally
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, around
this
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 field, there are
lots
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 of job vacancies. In a nutshell, my take on
this
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people
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 have
lots
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 of choices for everything. Because the
world
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 is not a small place. There are no restrictions on knowledge. So,
people
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 do not need to hide in
one
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 place, need to go out and search what are the
opportunities
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 they can develop.
Submitted by amalitharangani0Most of villagers are changing their accommodations from villages to cities all around the world. As a result of this countryside residents are lower than town areas.I think this is a negative development and in this essay, I will elaborate my perspectives furthermore. According to this situation, my take on this is, different of the facilities between the town and the village. As an example, there are lots of shopping centres in the city such as house- hold items, clothes, stationeries, vehicles and so on. Conversely, developed educational centres, schools, hospitals with enough facilities are also at the urban areas. Nevertheless, there are lots of companies and unlimited job opportunities in the city area. Also, mostly there are continuous electricity, gas,water and well planned and punctual transport system as well. So people prefer to live in comfortably and moving to cities as they possible. Additionally, villagers and town people's have same basic need. Such as food, accommodation, education, good health and freedom as well. In some countries there is unavailable electricity in the countryside. Also, there is poor transport system, teachers and facilities at village schools. Moreover, sometimes not enough medications and human resources. So countryside people preferred to move to town. Finally, countryside population decreased and urbanisation in cities. In a nutshell, if there is as usual same facilities all over the city and rural areas,as there is lots of freedom in the countryside . My point of view is around the world this point is most prominent in developing countries. on

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grammar
Ensure to check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structures to enhance clarity.
task response
Offer a balanced view by considering the opposing argument and providing counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetition and overgeneralization to maintain the reader's interest and improve the coherence of your arguments.
task response
The essay presents a clear standpoint and includes relevant examples to support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
A structured format is maintained with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a logical flow to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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