The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year

The pie charts compare the portion of

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

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that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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spent in

household

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households

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Malaysia

and

Japan

in terms of five categories in the year 2010.

Overall

, it's clear that Housing and Food were the highest expenditures in

Malaysia

However

,Other goods and Services and Food had the most

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apply

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expenses in

Japan

besides

Transport and Healthcare which

were

Verb problem

had

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the lowest proportion of incomes,

also

the lowest budget in

Japan

related to

health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

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. The numbers demonstrate Other goods and Services had the maximum

spendings

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spending

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at 29% and 26% respectively in

Japan

and

Malaysia

.At the same

time

Add a comma

time,

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Japan

had the lowest amount of budget with 6% in Health care,

likewise

,the least of all expenditures in

Malaysia

related to health care at 3%. The pie chart

witnessed

Verb problem

shows

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there was a difference in the amount

money

Change preposition

of money

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which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

spent

Change preposition

show examples

transport in

Malaysia

and

Japan

at 20% and 10% respectively.

Although

food accounted for 24% in

Japan

in comparison with

Malaysia

with 27%.

Submitted by kimiaakhyani67 on Fri Oct 20 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

153 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

household expenditures
proportion
cultural differences
economic differences
living standards
real estate market
public transportation
private transportation
infrastructure
government healthcare policies
quality of life
holistic view
inflation
economic growth
societal norms
globalization
communication expenses
education expenses

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The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communiation outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family. What are tge advantages and disadvantages of a family run business?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?