IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #internet
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In the current society, it is universally believed that the
internet
 has been gaining
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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popularity at an amazing rate. Some
people
 assert that the
internet
bring
Change the verb form
brings
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 us a lot of benefits
while
 many others argue that its drawbacks should not be ignored. It is quite understandable that
people
 from different backgrounds put different interpretations on the same issue. Those who
favor
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favour
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 that the
internet
 has many advantages give their reasons as follows. In the first place, it is obvious that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 brings us great convenience and efficiency.
For example
, we can send Emails to our friends in other countries in a few minutes
while
 sending a traditional letter takes us at least a week and costs much. In the second place, it is a well-known fact that we can make friends with
people
 from all parts of
world
Add an article
the world
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. Apparently, It overcomes the geographical barriers and makes the world smaller.
Furthermore
, it is true that the
internet
 accelerates the flow of information and spreads education to all corners of the globe.
In other words
, we can have easy and quick access to the latest information worldwide.
On the other hand
, some other
people
 hold a different attitude,
argue
Correct word choice
and argue
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 that the
internet
 has many weaknesses. For one thing, it seems that it can easily lead to psychological problems.
For instance
, an
internet
-addicted person tends to be isolated,
self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred
show examples
 and unsociable. For another, it is obvious that there is a sharp rise in the number of cyber crimes. More and more financial crimes
such
 as money laundering are committed via the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
In addition
, it
also
 has negative impacts on young
people
 because there are a lot of obscene and violent
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
on line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
. There is probably a little bit of truth in both arguments. For my part, I completely agree with the latter view that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 has more disadvantages than advantages. It gives rise to
people
’s mental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. It results in various computer crimes. It is harmful to the growth of the youth.
Therefore
, something should be done as soon as possible to protect
people
 from
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 effects of the
internet
.
Submitted by planklastin on

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and your position in response to the task question. The conclusion should provide a summary and final thought on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use cohesive devices such as transitional words and phrases to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main point and supports it with relevant examples and explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
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