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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to shere as much information as possible in scientific research, bussiness, and academic world, others believe that some informations is too important or to valuable to share freely.

#people #shere #information #research #bussiness #world #informations
Most individuals consider that it is essential to share
information
 in terms of the scientific field and business world.
Elsewhere
, others believe that some
information
 should be kept, and should not
share
Wrong verb form
be shared
show examples
 with someone because they are quite valuable. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both these opinions and give my view. Eventually, I believe that sharing knowledge
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
depends on the subject and sometimes it should be obligatory
however
 in some
such
 cases should be kept
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
safe. In the academic world, scientists generally conduct research to solve mysterious things or find a solution to relevant problems. In order to ensure that they create an academic paper and send
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 to the journals which are eligible for the specific area. After the submission session, the editorial board which consists of more than three eligible people
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
starts to investigate the paper and make necessary comments related to topics.
According to
 their comments, writers make some changes to the paper If it is necessary, they will conduct extra experimental steps. After the whole process, scientists can
be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 a problem or
fulfilled to
Verb problem
fill
show examples
 a hole in their scientific field. Without the sharing of
information
, these things cannot happen
thus
 scientist should share their knowledge with each other to improve the relevant field.
On the other hand
, some
information
 should be kept secret in order to prevent a chaotic atmosphere. To illustrate, sharing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
receipts of making detrimental chemicals even atomic bombs can cause unavoidable pain for humanity
hence
 these receipts should not be shared with others.
In other words
, the same attitude can be seen in the business sector because most brands have been competing and they usually prefer to keep
safe
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
information
 to surpass their rivals. All in all, sharing
information
 in terms of the academic world is an essential factor to improve our knowledge level.
Nonetheless
, in the business sector and some critical research, their
information
 is too valuable or important so these should
keep
Wrong verb form
be kept
show examples
safely
Change the word
safe
show examples
.
Submitted by hburakdisli on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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