IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

To solve the ever-increasing environmental hazards throughout the world, the best way is to increase the price of fuel. What is your opinion on the above assumption?

#hazards #world #price #fuel #assumption
Environmental problems are the main issue for mankind nowadays and in order to ensure the continuation of life, governments should look for solutions immediately. Many
people
 believe that if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
prices
 increase,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental pollution will decrease and the burden of the world will be reduced. In my opinion, increasing
fuel
prices
 cannot solve the problem,
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
 it can create new paradoxical problems for our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. On the one hand, excessive
fuel
 consumption is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 common characteristic among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
upper class
Add a hyphen
upper-class
show examples
people
. They usually have more than one car, prefer not to use public transportation, and frequently travel to
dıfferent
Correct your spelling
different
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 of the world using jets and
aiprlanes
Correct your spelling
aeroplanes
.
Therefore
, their carbon footprint is significantly higher than that of ordinary
people
. So, if the governments increase the
fuel
prices
, which cannot be a huge economic burden for
this
 advantaged group of
people
, they can afford it without any major problem.
On the other hand
, fuels are not only used in cars but
also
 other essential devices and machines which are used for the production of important jobs like tractors for agricultural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Moreover
, transportation of products is the biggest expenditure for consumers and rising
fuel
prices
 will affect lower and middle class
people
 more than upper class consumers. All in all, increasing
fuel
prices
 might sound good at first glance,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 to cope with environmental issues
people
 should focus on other major pollutants
such
 as plastics and harmful chemicals. Recycling and raising
awereness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 among
people
 could be a more effective solution than increasing
fuel
prices
.
Submitted by hburakdisli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: