Many people believe that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others think that people should be allowed to work for as long as they choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Life expectancy is increasing day by day and the time of retirement has been discussed nowadays. Some believe that elderly
people
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who have reached 65 should be banned from continuing
work
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while
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others consider that the decision should be left personal choice of elderly individuals. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the given ideas and try to advocate why elderly
people
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should not be allowed to continue working. The human population are rising, and the average age of
people
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is increasing as well.
As a result
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of that fact, the number of job vacancies and applicants’ numbers have a negative correlation with each other.
Therefore
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, finding a proper job might be a challenging
situation
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for the young generation compared to before. If over 65 years old
people
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continue to
work
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, young
people
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will not find appropriate positions based on their education.
Consequently
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, the
situation
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of unemployment might cause inequality in society and that might increase crime rates it will affect negatively. By the way, the companies, or sectors, which are using cutting-edge technology and the latest software, to maximize their production capability, can demand workers who can comply with new developments so elderly
people
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might be overwhelmed to understand these revaluations.
Hence
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, when elderly workers retire, the next generation can be more suitable for these positions, and they might improve the success of companies
according to
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their aim.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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consider that experienced workers, even if they are over 65, should be allowed to
work
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for as long as they want. Elderly
people
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have significant experience and wisdom, and the sector can benefit from them as an adviser or manager.
Work
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life consists of various risks and dangers to cope with these challenges experienced
people
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can positively contribute.
Additionally
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, every over 65
people
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cannot sustain their retirement life in terms of financial security. To illustrate, wrong decisions about their pensions or unexpected outcomes can cause economic obscures for elderly
people
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. In order to deal with these financial issues employees over 65 want to continue working.
To conclude
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, governments should ensure that individuals over 65 will be promoted and supported so they will not face any economic insecurity
situation
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. When those over 65-year-old
people
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feel financially relieved, they are probably more willing to think of retirement and that
situation
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might create job opportunities for younger generations.
Submitted by hburakdisli on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address both views presented in the prompt. In addition, provide a clear opinion at the end of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Strong overall coherence and cohesion in the essay. Organize your thoughts more clearly and consider improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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