IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
this
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 current time, technology based on
science
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 should
has
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have
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 a purpose to improve
people
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’s
lives
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the function of
science
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 is to make
quality
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the quality
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 of
human’s
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human
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life
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 become better. In
this
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 essay, I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there were some scientists who made an invention
such
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 as
telephone
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the telephone
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, lamp, and other things that help
people
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 in their daily activities. Without their invention,
people
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 may never experience the ease of things they have right now.
For instance
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, Alexander Graham Bell who invented
telephone
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the telephone
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 made a change from the traditional method of communication until
people
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can
Wrong verb form
could
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 use
telephone
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the telephone
a telephone
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 to communicate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 era,
people
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 even use
smartphone
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smartphones
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 as a form of technological development and it
became
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become
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 one of the most important items for
people
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 which has several benefits to their
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life
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lives
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.
Furthermore
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, the development of
science
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 can make our
lives
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 more convenient
such
Linking Words
 as in
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 sector. It has
significant
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a significant
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 role
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
help
Wrong verb form
helping
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people
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 to get a better
life
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 related to their health and quality of
life
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. As we know, there are several methods to maintain
healthy
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a healthy
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life
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 and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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multivitamins that
people
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 can consume to take care of their body. These multivitamins contain some ingredients which have a good impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 our health based on
science
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.
To sum up
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, the ease of
human’s
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human
show examples
lives
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 depends on
science
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 which hopefully will have many developments in the future.
Although
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there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is still possible that
science
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 can cause
harms
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harm
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 to
people
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’s
lives
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, it can be directed by
government
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the government
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 to focus more on
contribute
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contributing
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 to
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 a better
life
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 for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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