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Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. Do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

#countries #people #variety #food #world
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In some
countries
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, it is now possible for people to buy a wide variety of
foods
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 transported from all over the world. To what extent do the benefits of
this
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 development outweigh the drawbacks?
To begin
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 with, it is understandable that some believe transported
foods
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 are a negative development
due to
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 the effect on domestic
food
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while
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 citizens prefer
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
foods
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 to domestic ones. The Vietnamese,
for instance
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, prefer overseas
foods
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, especially those from developed
countries
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such
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 as the US, Japan or Korea because people believe that
food
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 from these
countries
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 a better quality.
Thus
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, the domestic
products
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 could not be sold so the local farmers
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 to discount their
products
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 to compete with
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
foods
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.
However
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, it could be seen that the positives of
this
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 development outweigh the drawbacks
while
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 it supported developing
countries
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on
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in
show examples
 their agricultural
products
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 and created a diversity of
food
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 in meals . Most of the income in developing
countries
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, especially agricultural
countries
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,
come
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comes
show examples
 from selling their
products
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developed
countries
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. The SEA
countries
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,
for example
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, have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 to produce tropical fruit so they produce and sell it
for
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to
show examples
 China, which could not produce enough for their citizens' needs.
Moreover
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, transported
foods
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 could bring a diversity of
foods
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the country. Take the Western
countries
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 as an example, they could not grow tropical
foods
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 like jackfruit,
mangosteem
Correct your spelling
mangosteen
mangosteens
,
mango
Correct word choice
and mango
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 and
as a result
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 transported
food
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 is a solution which is clearly convenient and somehow extended their choices in
food
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.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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