IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people say that we now live in 'consumer societies' where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that consumer culture has played a vital role in improving our lives.

#people #consumer #societies #money #possessions #importance #culture #role #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A lot of people have thought about consuming culture and the importance of money in our era,
for example
, Noam Chomsky says that our society is addicted to buying and having a lot of possessions become a value between us.
However
, a considerable number of libertarian authors talk about the efficacy of these free markets, because they believe that freedom for our needs, flourishes others' abilities. on the one hand, we have some parties and politicians that think the first important thing for our society is GDP, as the mass of the
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital
show examples
.
For instance
, they give a sample like China which has increased its GDP in a period of 30 years.
In addition
, some scientists in the humanities clearly explain
this
 value of making money is the main goal of every community.
On the other hand
, we have many articles that show us the alarms of endangered species,
due to
 our manufacturing and consuming culture.
Moreover
, they explain that our natural resources are not unlimited and our society will be stuck in a huge number of natural disasters when our resources become less and less. In conclusion,
this
 concept ends in two results, so we have a serious controversy on
this
 topic.
For example
, we have ideas that tell us making money is the main aim of our community, alternatively, others believe that the quality of life of any individual in the population is more important than making capital.They say, a world with a population of about 8 billion, needs to be more fair, not be a mass of monetary achievements with billions of poor workers.
Submitted by Ramin1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: