crimes by minors on the rise in recent times. the psychologists claim that the fundamental reason for this is that children these days are lacking the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Crimes are increasing day by day. Most of the crimes have been done by teenagers because of the lack of social and emotional guidance from their guardians and
teachers
. I endorse the statement to a large extent . I have some solid grounds to defend my opinion which I would like to explicate at length in the paragraphs to come.
To begin
with, parents are busy because of their hectic work schedule, they do not have enough time to spend with their juveniles. Based on
this
,
children
start conversing with outsiders and try to copy their style of talking and doing without knowing their negatives.
As a result
, they choose illegal paths which affects their social behaviour.
For instance
, In 2019, data was collected which showed that 30 per cent of society's negative behaviour distracts
children
from their education and they are forced to commit crimes. If parents are unable to guide their offspring and do not provide mental support, the crime rate will proliferate to 65 per cent in 2025.
Moreover
,
teachers
play a major role in making a child a good person. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational organizations,
teacher's
Change noun form
teachers'
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attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
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towards juveniles
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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different. They treat good to the
students
who are well at their studies
while
mistreating those who are weak.
Consequently
,
this
difference affects the offspring's minds and they start adopting a violent nature which is counted as a serious crime under the age of 18.
For example
, the series "Best of Savdhan World" shows the teacher's misconduct towards their
students
. Most of the
students
are afraid to talk and share their problems with
teachers
.
Hence
, they find illegal ways to control themselves like intake of drugs. In a nutshell, it can be concluded that parents' lack of guidance and interaction with their
children
restrict them from growing socially
whereas
,
teachers
' misbehaviour towards
students
affects them mentally. These two factors lead
children
to commit crime
Submitted by MANPREET130KAUR on

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task response
Great job providing a clear stance from the beginning and maintaining it throughout the essay. Continue strengthening this by exploring all aspects of the essay prompt thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Your coherent structure, introduction, and conclusion greatly enhance understanding. Keep enhancing connectivity between ideas with more varied transitional phrases.
task response
Incorporating real-life examples or data significantly supports your points. Try to cite more specific studies or statistics to strengthen your argument further.
general
To enhance clarity, pay attention to sentence structure and word choice. Occasionally, simpler language can convey your point more effectively.
content
Presented a comprehensive stance on the stated topic, backed by solid reasoning.
structure
The logical flow of ideas from intro to conclusion makes your essay easy to follow.
content
Use of hypothetical examples and references to real-life scenarios illustrates points well.
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crimes
  • minors
  • psychologists
  • social and emotional learning
  • parents
  • teachers
  • engaging
  • fundamental reason
  • lacking
  • rise
  • recent times
  • extent
  • agree
  • disagree
  • contributing factors
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