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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many children today have unhealthy lifestyles. Both schools and parents have the responsibility to solve this problem. How true is this statement? Is any other party responsible for this?

#children #lifestyles #schools #parents #responsibility #party
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Recently the issue
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
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 been brought into focus is
Children
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 now lead unhealthier lifestyles than in the past, despite having more opportunities to live in hygienic environments and have access to nourishing foods that promote a healthy
life
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. Some people think that in order to deal with
this
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 issue, both
parents
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 and schools should assume responsibility. Personally, I concur with
this
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 viewpoint.
Parents
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 are regarded as having the primary responsibility for enhancing their
children
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's quality of
life
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. In actuality, they are the primary caregivers and have a big impact on their
kids
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' lives. Nowadays,
parents
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 lead busy lives that prevent them from spending as much time as they would like with their
kids
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.as
Children
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 often spend a lot of time watching television or using computers
instead
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 of engaging in physical activity, and they consume a lot of fast food, which lacks essential nutrients.
In addition
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, since
parents
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 have a significant influence on their
children
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's development, they should serve as the primary role model for living a healthy lifestyle. If their
parents
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 participate in sports with them,
kids
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 are more likely to develop a habit of engaging in outdoor
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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. In my opinion, Schools are second in a child's
life
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 because
kids
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 frequently spend a lot of time there. The more extracurricular activities a school offers that promote a healthy lifestyle, the more information students can learn and adopt.
Furthermore
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, if schools regularly host sporting events,
kids
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 might be inspired to exercise more. From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that
kids
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 can lead a healthier
life
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 if they are under the guidance of both
parents
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 and teachers.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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