IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the government should support artists like painters, musicians, and poets, while others believe this wastes money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #support #artists #painters #musicians #poets #wastes #money
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The issue of
government
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support
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 for
artists
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 triggers a discussion between advocates who argue in
favor
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favour
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 of providing financial assistance and
skeptics
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sceptics
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 who perceive it as an unnecessary expenditure of funds
This
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 essay will discuss both views and offer my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, supporters of
government
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 funding for
artists
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 assert that art plays a vital role in society and culture. They believe that
artists
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 have the power to inspire, challenge, and encourage critical thinking. By offering
support
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 to painters, musicians, and poets, the
government
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 can promote creativity and safeguard cultural heritage.
Moreover
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, financial
support
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 to
artists
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 can contribute to the creation of artworks that stimulate the economy through tourism and cultural events. Proponents claim that financial backing for artistic
endeavors
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endeavours
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 is,
therefore
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, an investment in the
overall
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 enrichment of society.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue against
government
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support
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 for
artists
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, claiming it is an unnecessary expense and misallocation of taxpayer money. They believe art should thrive through private patronage and market demand. Critics argue that
government
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 involvement in
art
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the art
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 can lead to subjective decision-making,
favoritism
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favouritism
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, and instances where funding is provided to projects lacking artistic merit.
Additionally
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, they assert that
government
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 intervention can restrict
artists
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' freedom of expression and creativity as they may feel pressured to create works aligned with political agendas or public preferences. In conclusion, I believe that a balanced approach is crucial for public funding of
artists
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. Especially, transparency and fairness in the selection process are vital to ensure the
support
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 goes to talented individuals committed to their craft.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

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Task Response
Ensure that your essay discusses both perspectives of the topic and clearly presents your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure, with an effective introduction and conclusion. Work on connecting ideas more smoothly within paragraphs for improved coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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