Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

In
this
globalisation era, there are so many
families
who tend to spend their lives for livelihood rather than engage with their family members. In my perspective, there are two reasons for
this
phenomenon, which are workaholic and
time
management.
To begin
with, it is undeniable that there is so much professional
work
that consumes more
time
. In
this
digitalisation era,
people
are getting easy to do their
work
at
home
by utilising an internet connection.
That is
the reason why, humankind nowadays is still busy even when they have arrived
home
but still do their assignments.
For example
, a workaholic father has finished his
work
hours and going back to his
home
. Right after he arrives, he continues the tasks that are not completed yet in his house rather than spending
time
with his wife and children.
In addition
,
time
management is another factor that has become a barrier for
families
to get closer to each other. It is commonly believed that every family have a special
time
when they are required to gather together for some occasions
such
as birthday party, wedding party, and Christmas day.
However
, some
people
are not able to manage their
time
to visit their family in a particular event.
For instance
, a student who studies overseas at a different
time
to their hometown will find it hard to allocate his/her
time
for family special events which is expected to strengthen family bonding. In conclusion, it is obvious that
people
nowadays find it hard to distinguish their professional and personal lives. They are likely to mix their
work
and family errands.
Consequently
, more and more
people
become workaholics and at the same
time
neglect the bonding of their
families
.
Nevertheless
, it can be avoided by respecting each family member and allocating
time
to build close relations between
families
at
home
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The main points are not clearly supported. The reasons and examples need to be more developed to provide a clear and comprehensive response.
task achievement
The response lacks a clear and comprehensive development of ideas. The reasons and examples are not fully elaborated, resulting in a lack of depth in the response.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: