Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #development #sport #art #school #students #support #sports #events

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In recent years, many educational institutions have promoted extra-curriculums for students developing their talents in

sports

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art

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even though budgets are a major issue for them. I stand for the federal government subsidies to educational institutions planning the

development

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sports

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and

art

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rather than supporting professional subjects for them as everyone has their talents instinct.

This

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essay will expound on my views and provide examples to discuss. To commence, school is a nurturing phenomenon for learners' global

development

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as it does not focus on professional nurture.

For instance

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, some social science experts indicated that educational institutions were open areas for children to study and rear

such

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as state

schools

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, private

schools

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or international

schools

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. These places could provide various subjects for learners to explore, not just bear in professional nurturing.

This

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plan

also

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would bring numerous students or adolescents to receive an award from

art

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sports

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competitions by the local government sponsoring them.

Thus

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this

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results in the authorities spending money on the

development

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sports

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and

art

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, but not supporting to be professional sporters or artists.

Furthermore

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, another opinion is rearing children's global

development

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rather than promoting them to be specific ones in

art

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sports

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For example

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, some educational theories suggest that if kids have a good upbringing at school, it will provide different programs for them exploring like painting or playing scooters,

also

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discovering their talents.

This

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plan can balance everyone's

development

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and find their feet to enjoy studying.

Hence

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this

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encourages the federal government to plan some budgets for

schools

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sports

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art

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better than being

profession

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professional

show examples

. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned statements, I believe that the authorities should spend money on the

development

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art

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sports

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as well.

This

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trend can engage everyone to have a chance to participate in different programs, not just focus on being professional person for the public.

Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on Mon Oct 23 2023

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task achievement

The essay lacks a clear thesis statement. Make sure to clearly state your position on the topic in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay can be improved. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a specific point and use appropriate transition words to connect the ideas.

lexical resource

Expand your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary. This will make your essay more diverse and engaging.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy. There are several instances of incorrect usage and word choice throughout the essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art events. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to stay with one company during a career. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?

In their advertising, bussinesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?