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Writing Samples
Band 4

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situations outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situations
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Recently, the number of young
people
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 has increased over the past few years in many nations.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
this
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 phenomenon is advantageous, I personally think that the negative impact is more serious. Many
people
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 hold the view that having young adults is that the youth
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a vital role
to boost
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in boosting
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 economic progression. They argue that young
people
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 have new energy and perspective which can bring a different way of thinking to society.
Moreover
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, most of them tend to
eager
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be eager
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 to learn and build their experience so that they can apply their skill in the future.
This
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 is why companies are likely to employ young adults because they have the ability to apply and understand different things quickly
and
Correct word choice
apply
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which is good
to boost
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for boosting
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 the productivity of a business.
On the other hand
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/Having said that
,
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apply
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 there are some drawbacks to the unbalanced number of young and old
people
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 related to experience in the workplace.
In other words
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, young
people
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 are generally inexperienced so they have to learn the skills from older workers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have earned more experience on the job.
For example
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, a young professional who has started practising as a doctor does not have the same knowledge as an experienced doctor. When they encounter a medical case for the first time, they will have to consult
to
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apply
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older and more experienced doctors who have probably seen similar cases in the past.
This
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 means that when there are
only
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apply
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fewer older
people
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 from whom young adults can ask for advice related to certain problems, they will have difficulties finding the best solution. In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawback of having
to
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too
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 many young
people
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 surpasses the advantages. The young
people
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 still need more older
people
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 to assist them and to be role models,
otherwise
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 they will have no one to guide them to be good
people
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.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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