IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below gives information on how people use four types of transport and the table provides of five reasons data of using a car in Edmonton.

The pie chart below gives information on how people use four types of transport and the table provides of five reasons data of using a car in Edmonton.
#information #people #four #transport #five #data #car #edmonton
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The provided pie chart gives information about how
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 in Edmonton. Why
Use synonyms
people
Add a missing verb
do people
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 the
car
Use synonyms
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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 by
Add an article
the table
a table
show examples
table
Capitalize word
Table
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.
Change the punctuation
?
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Overall
Linking Words
, it is obviously seen that in Edmonton the most popular
transport
Use synonyms
 is a
car
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 are not as so popular as
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. Getting back to the details the highest indicator among
people
Use synonyms
 who
use
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
 is
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
. The figure
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 up 45%,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do not
use
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. It constitutes only 20% collectively.
However
Linking Words
, the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 LRT. Compare with other transports LRT is used 10% less than
car
Use synonyms
, but a quarter percent more than bus and taxi. As can be seen from
this
Linking Words
 diagram more than half per cent
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 the
car
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 commute to work,
then
Linking Words
 the business which had the same proportion as the
car
Use synonyms
 .
Thirdly
Linking Words
, Taking children to school is 5% less than the prior category.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Shopping and Leisure activities have less per cent
also
Linking Words
, these items have the same percentage with 15%.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, use, transport, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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