Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve search situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is thought by some that it is okay to make do with a
not so good
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not-so-good
show examples
circumstance,
such
as an
unplesasant
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
job
or being
cash trapped
Add a hyphen
cash-trapped
show examples
. Others
However
Fix capitalization
however
show examples
believe that it is advisable to try and keep searching. In my opinion, I believe that it is better to make do with the available
job
at hand
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and keep trying to get a better one. On the one hand, some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,
such
as an unsatisfactory
job
or shortage of money, and I agree.
This
is because, I believe that the first step to achieving greatness
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
by trying, As
such
, starting with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
unsatisfactory
job
will open doors for greater
opportuinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Furthermore
, the
exprience
Correct your spelling
experience
acquired during the period of engaging in the
not so good
Add a hyphen
not-so-good
show examples
job
will give the
individaul
Correct your spelling
individual
an edge over other candidates during
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
search.
For example
, A company is recruiting for a
role
in which they need an
experience
Change the verb form
experienced
show examples
hire. 20 persons applied for a
role
,
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and they need just 2 persons to fill the slot. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
,
prefrence
Correct your spelling
preference
would be given to the
exprience
Correct your spelling
experience
experienced
hire more than the Entry Level
Candiddates
Correct your spelling
Candidates
.
On the other hand
, some believe that it is advisable to keep
seraching
Correct your spelling
searching
till they get their dream
job
.
This
is
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
sometimes, once an
indiviual
Correct your spelling
individual
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
out with
the not so good
Correct your spelling
a not-so-good
show examples
job
, It is always difficult to transition into something more profitable.
For Example
, Taking a
job
that can hardly take care of the needs of an individual will give room for divided attention, As
such
, he is busy applying to other companies, which will in turn
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
have
effect
Add an article
an effect
show examples
on the productivity of the company. As
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
of
this
, he has to skip several days in the office to attend
other interview
Change the wording
another interview
other interviews
show examples
.
Therefore
, It is better to keep searching till a
desireable
Correct your spelling
desirable
role
is gotten. In Conclusion, I believe that it is better to make do with the available
role
, which one of the benefits is networking, during
this
period, the experience and connection gained will be useful
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
getting a better and
well paying
Add a hyphen
well-paying
show examples
role
.
Submitted by mosesak0907 on

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task response
The essay provided a fair response to the task by discussing both views and stating your opinion. However, ensure to eliminate minor errors and provide more comprehensive reasons for your points.
coherence cohesion
Logical structuring was present, but it could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Transitions between ideas need to be smoother for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
While the essay includes relevant examples, try to make them more specific and detailed. Ensure that the examples clearly support the main points.
task response
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion of both views and your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay concluded with a summary of your opinion, reinforcing your main point discussed in the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unsatisfactory job
  • shortage of money
  • mental peace
  • mitigating stress
  • unrealistic expectations
  • focus on other aspects of their lives
  • immediate relief
  • constant pressure
  • societal standards
  • high goals
  • mental health
  • stoic
  • life's challenges
  • striving to improve
  • personal growth
  • development
  • problem-solving
  • resilience
  • beneficial life skills
  • higher levels of satisfaction
  • fulfillment
  • mediocrity
  • opportunities to excel
  • balanced perspective
  • creating a plan
  • proactive benefits
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