Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve search situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #search

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It is thought by some that it is okay to make do with a

not so good

Add a hyphen

not-so-good

show examples

circumstance,

such

Linking Words

as an

unplesasant

Correct your spelling

unpleasant

job

Use synonyms

or being

cash trapped

Add a hyphen

cash-trapped

show examples

. Others

Linking Words

However

Fix capitalization

however

show examples

believe that it is advisable to try and keep searching. In my opinion, I believe that it is better to make do with the available

job

Use synonyms

at hand

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and keep trying to get a better one. On the one hand, some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,

such

Linking Words

as an unsatisfactory

job

Use synonyms

or shortage of money, and I agree.

This

Linking Words

is because, I believe that the first step to achieving greatness

Correct your spelling

show examples

by trying, As

such

Linking Words

, starting with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

unsatisfactory

job

Use synonyms

will open doors for greater

opportuinities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the

exprience

Correct your spelling

experience

acquired during the period of engaging in the

not so good

Add a hyphen

not-so-good

show examples

job

Use synonyms

will give the

individaul

Correct your spelling

individual

an edge over other candidates during

Use synonyms

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

search.

For example

Linking Words

, A company is recruiting for a

role

Use synonyms

in which they need an

experience

Change the verb form

experienced

show examples

hire. 20 persons applied for a

role

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and they need just 2 persons to fill the slot. As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

prefrence

Correct your spelling

preference

would be given to the

exprience

Correct your spelling

experience

experienced

hire more than the Entry Level

Candiddates

Correct your spelling

Candidates

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some believe that it is advisable to keep

seraching

Correct your spelling

searching

till they get their dream

job

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

sometimes, once an

indiviual

Correct your spelling

individual

start

Correct subject-verb agreement

starts

show examples

out with

the not so good

Correct your spelling

a not-so-good

show examples

job

Use synonyms

, It is always difficult to transition into something more profitable.

For Example

Linking Words

, Taking a

job

Use synonyms

that can hardly take care of the needs of an individual will give room for divided attention, As

such

Linking Words

, he is busy applying to other companies, which will in turn

will

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

have

effect

Add an article

an effect

show examples

on the productivity of the company. As

result

Add an article

a result

show examples

this

Linking Words

, he has to skip several days in the office to attend

other interview

Change the wording

another interview

other interviews

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, It is better to keep searching till a

desireable

Correct your spelling

desirable

role

Use synonyms

is gotten. In Conclusion, I believe that it is better to make do with the available

role

Use synonyms

, which one of the benefits is networking, during

this

Linking Words

period, the experience and connection gained will be useful

Change preposition

show examples

getting a better and

well paying

Add a hyphen

well-paying

show examples

role

Use synonyms

Submitted by mosesak0907 on Mon Sep 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay provided a fair response to the task by discussing both views and stating your opinion. However, ensure to eliminate minor errors and provide more comprehensive reasons for your points.

coherence cohesion

Logical structuring was present, but it could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Transitions between ideas need to be smoother for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

While the essay includes relevant examples, try to make them more specific and detailed. Ensure that the examples clearly support the main points.

task response

The introduction effectively sets up the discussion of both views and your stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

The essay concluded with a summary of your opinion, reinforcing your main point discussed in the essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unsatisfactory job
shortage of money
mental peace
mitigating stress
unrealistic expectations
focus on other aspects of their lives
immediate relief
constant pressure
societal standards
high goals
mental health
stoic
life's challenges
striving to improve
personal growth
development
problem-solving
resilience
beneficial life skills
higher levels of satisfaction
fulfillment
mediocrity
opportunities to excel
balanced perspective
creating a plan
proactive benefits

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