IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work for an international company and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. -Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six month -Say how your work could be done while you are away -Ask for his/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #-explain #company’s #month #-say #-ask
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir Ahmadi, I am writing
this
 letter regarding to request you to work for head office in the UK for half of the year As Mr Alavi who is the master manager of bridge construction designer has been working in the United Kingdom and he has had so much experience with suspended bridges I would like to spend 6 months there in order to learn how we can design
this
 construction.
In addition
, what is really practical is that these kinds of bridges are so cost-effective compared to other types. During
this
 time my colleague could send my task through emails and other social media and I could do my duty at the weekend and in the evening after backbreaking. I believe that you can communicate with the head office in the UK in order to let me work for Mr Alavi's team for a
while
. I will be waiting for your reply. Yours Sincerely, Reyhaneh darash.
Submitted by reyhaneh.darash on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly demarcated and that they effectively frame the essay's purpose and main findings. The use of an explicit introductory sentence and a summary conclusion can aid in achieving this.
logical structure
To improve logical structure, work on connecting sentences and paragraphs with a range of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences. This will enhance the readability and flow of the essay.
supported main points
Support main points with more detailed explanations and examples. Make sure the examples are directly relevant to the main topic and help illustrate your points more vividly.
complete response
While the task is addressed, aim to provide a more complete response by fully covering all aspects of the prompt. Include more specifics on the arrangement for your absence and expand on how your work would be managed during your time away.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by expanding on the benefits of working with Mr. Alavi's team and how this experience will translate to value for your company, both in terms of your personal development and potential contributions to the company's projects.
relevant specific examples
When giving examples such as the cost-effectiveness of suspended bridges, try to include specific evidence or data to substantiate these claims and demonstrate how they align with the company's objectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: