IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #environment
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Nowadays, we are facing many challenges, specifically increasing diseases and environmental problems. There is a contentious issue
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 some individuals argue the government needs to give priority to research
medicine
Use synonyms
 more than the environment.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with that.
Firstly
Linking Words
, humans have the predominant responsibility for global warming
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is one of the causes of natural disasters like droughts and floods. Nowadays, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 numerous news coming from all over the world to report the effects of climate change
to
Change preposition
on
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 society.
For example
Linking Words
, a few days ago, it was raining cats and dogs
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Da Nang city, and a few months prior to that Da Lat
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 city on the top of the mountain that has floods.
Hence
Linking Words
, studying the environment and finding out how to prevent potential risks is paramount.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
governments
Use synonyms
 representing all citizens should have accountability to resolve the environment more than
medicine
Use synonyms
, because undertaking
medicine
Use synonyms
 research is the monetary way
of
Change preposition
for
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 companies,
thus
Linking Words
 they are willing to invest in order to research
medicine
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
While it’s
Correct word choice
It’s
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 only the government that has
power
Change the article
the power
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 to introduce imperative legislation that requires all inhabitants to obey.
For example
Linking Words
, fuel emissions are the main reason for global warming. The government can limit the amount of carbon dioxide released from factories.
Besides
Linking Words
, encouraging residents to use the transportation system and renewable energies.
Furthermore
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, sharing responsibilities
to
Change preposition
with
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 others
also
Linking Words
 reduces the stress on
budgets
Correct article usage
the budgets
show examples
 of the
governments
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, finding solutions for treating diseases is not only the responsibility of the
governments
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
Correct article usage
an opportunities
show examples
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 for monetary gain of the companies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, carrying out studies on the way to save habitats is an imperative responsibility of
governments
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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