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Band 6

Government should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #environment
Nowadays, we are facing many challenges, specifically increasing diseases and environmental problems. There is a contentious issue
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 some individuals argue the government needs to give priority to research
medicine
 more than the environment.
However
, I disagree with that.
Firstly
, humans have the predominant responsibility for global warming
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is one of the causes of natural disasters like droughts and floods. Nowadays, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 numerous news coming from all over the world to report the effects of climate change
to
Change preposition
on
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 society.
For example
, a few days ago, it was raining cats and dogs
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Da Nang city, and a few months prior to that Da Lat
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 city on the top of the mountain that has floods.
Hence
, studying the environment and finding out how to prevent potential risks is paramount.
Secondly
, the
governments
 representing all citizens should have accountability to resolve the environment more than
medicine
, because undertaking
medicine
 research is the monetary way
of
Change preposition
for
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 companies,
thus
 they are willing to invest in order to research
medicine
.
While it’s
Correct word choice
It’s
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 only the government that has
power
Change the article
the power
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 to introduce imperative legislation that requires all inhabitants to obey.
For example
, fuel emissions are the main reason for global warming. The government can limit the amount of carbon dioxide released from factories.
Besides
, encouraging residents to use the transportation system and renewable energies.
Furthermore
, sharing responsibilities
to
Change preposition
with
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 others
also
 reduces the stress on
budgets
Correct article usage
the budgets
show examples
 of the
governments
. In conclusion, finding solutions for treating diseases is not only the responsibility of the
governments
 but
also
Correct article usage
an opportunities
show examples
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 for monetary gain of the companies.
Therefore
, carrying out studies on the way to save habitats is an imperative responsibility of
governments
.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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