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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In the contemporary world, the controversy surrounding the impact of
technology
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 on the types of
relationships
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people
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 form has been a prominent topic.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that
this
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 shift has led to more superficial connections and a lack of genuine human interactions, others believe that
technology
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 has opened up new opportunities for
people
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 to connect and build meaningful
relationships
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. From my perspective,
although
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 there are both positive and negative aspects to
this
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 shift, it ultimately comes down to how individuals choose to use
technology
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 in their
relationships
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. On the one hand, it is undeniable that one of the significant ways
technology
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 has affected
relationships
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 is through the rise of social media platforms. In fact, these platforms allow
people
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 to connect with others from all around the world, fostering a sense of global community.
However
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, the ease of forming connections online can sometimes result in shallow
relationships
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 based on likes and follows rather than authentic emotional connections.
For instance
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, a person may have hundreds of online friends but still feel lonely and isolated in real life.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 has
also
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 changed the way
people
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 communicate in
relationships
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. To be more precise, texting, instant messaging, and video calls made it easier for
people
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 to stay in touch with each other, regardless of physical distance.
Therefore
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,
this
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 can be especially beneficial for maintaining long-distance
relationships
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 or for connecting with loved ones during times of crisis, notwithstanding a lack of face-to-face interaction, which is essential for building strong emotional bonds. In conclusion,
technology
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 has undoubtedly changed the types of
relationships
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 in today’s world.
However
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, whether
this
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 trend affects
relationships
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 positively or negatively depends on how it is used. Provided that it is utilized thoughtfully and intentionally,
technology
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 can enhance
relationships
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 by facilitating communication and connection.

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task achievement
Your essay has addressed the prompt comprehensively, discussing both the positive and negative effects of technology on relationships. You could strengthen your argument by incorporating more specific examples. For instance, mentioning particular social media platforms or communication technologies could provide more vivid illustrations of your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more concrete examples and evidence. For instance, you could reference studies or real-life scenarios where technology has impacted relationships significantly. This would add credibility to your assertions and engage the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and effective structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, addressing both sides of the argument as required by the task.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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