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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people argue that because the internet makes it so easy for children to accsess facts,schools should not focus on teaching facts.Instead,they should focus on develop[ing childrens' potential,and their relationships with other people.

Today some persons
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 can provide many sources of
fact
Replace the word
factual
show examples
 information,so,teachers do not have to teach them about it.
Instead
Linking Words
,it will be beneficial to improve
teenagers’skills
Correct your spelling
teenagers skills
 and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
aaspects
Correct your spelling
aspects
 of
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
.I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that teachers should work with
students’mental
Correct your spelling
mental
 and other useful things,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 them to
another disciplines
Replace the adjective
another discipline
other disciplines
show examples
. First of all,
this
Linking Words
 approach can considerably decrease
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wasting time freely and teach the young to self-study.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
such
Linking Words
method
Correct article usage
a method
show examples
 develop
Correct article usage
the interacting
show examples
interacting
Replace the word
interaction
show examples
 of children with each other.When not mature people in the
socium
Correct your spelling
social
 they are likely to
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
 time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 unneeded items
such
Linking Words
 as
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
 video games,
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to entertainment facilities and so on.
Howebver
Correct your spelling
However
,in
this
Linking Words
 path they are using it
approprietly
Correct your spelling
appropriately
 because without
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another individuals
Replace the adjective
another individual
other individuals
show examples
 they
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to study alone
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,with
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
teacher
Add a comma
teacher,
show examples
 it is easier to ask some struggling questions to solve.
Hence
Linking Words
,it is
quite
Change the article
quite a
a quite
show examples
 relevant way to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 time and build
childrens’
Change noun form
children’s
show examples
 self-development. In terms of
Correct article usage
the furure
show examples
furure
Correct your spelling
future
,it is
significantly
Add an article
the significantly
a significantly
show examples
 important thing.During the
class
Add a comma
class,
show examples
guiders
Correct your spelling
guides
show examples
 familiarize them with previous problems which will come.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,not
solely
Rephrase
only
show examples
 education is growing,
mental
Correct word choice
but mental
show examples
 mindset and stress stability inclining as well.In the
grops
Correct your spelling
groups
,where people are
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
,they are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard conditions to make something.Eventually,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who
surrounded
Add a missing verb
is surrounded
show examples
 by
this
Linking Words
 atmosphere will
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
 and develop.So,it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
hugely influences
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the future of
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
educate
Verb problem
provides
show examples
 them with access to data . In conclusion,
improvin
Correct your spelling
improving
teenagers’potential
Correct your spelling
potential
 skills with
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 is
pretty more
Rephrase
much
show examples
 better.Whilst,
internet
Use synonyms
 teaching and providing
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 information.

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