The professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment starts or personalities. Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

People argue that it is unfair for

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

to not earn the same or even more than the entertainment

stars

Use synonyms

and personalities. I somewhat disagree towards

this

Linking Words

topic.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both perspectives on the topic. On the one hand,

while

Linking Words

I think that

doctors

Use synonyms

who have specialised in a particular subject earn very well, I think that

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

should earn more than what they currently earn.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that they are the backbone of our society and play a huge role in shaping us and making our future. I have seen many

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

struggle to make ends meet.

Moreover

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

and

nurses

Use synonyms

save lives and do things an entertainment personality can not.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, people should appreciate more

nurses

Use synonyms

and

doctors

Use synonyms

than entertainment

stars

Use synonyms

and personalities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

earn a lot of money because of the revenue they generate

due to

Linking Words

their popularity and fame, they are one of the major reasons for their country's economy and play a huge role in influencing people to do better like Cristiano Ronaldo encouraging kids to drink more water and less Coca-Cola.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there are a lot of

doctors

Use synonyms

and

nurses

Use synonyms

in a country than

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

and

hence

Linking Words

, paying them equally or more than a

sports

Use synonyms

star is not feasible.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professionals work hard, I think that

while

Linking Words

doctors

Use synonyms

nurses

Use synonyms

and

teachers

Use synonyms

should be paid more than what they are currently earning, they should not earn more than a

sports

Use synonyms

star

due to

Linking Words

the disparity in the population of each profession.

satyarthverma88Tue Aug 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Some of your points are well-articulated, but could benefit from further development. Ensure each main idea is thoroughly explored with specific, relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the struggles of nurses and teachers, personal anecdotes could be supplemented with data or broader examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is coherent and flows fairly well, but there are areas where the transitions could be smoother. For example, use more linking words or phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly, which will help improve readability.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the issue and the essay's purpose, setting up the reader for what to expect. This is very effective.

coherence cohesion

You successfully present and contrast both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

269 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

essential services
functioning and improvement of society
well-being and education
vital role
shaping the future generation
foundation for a better society
attract talented individuals
quality of education
on the front lines
maintaining public health
expertise and dedication
quality of life
market forces and consumer demand
prioritizing essential professions
long-term benefits
high-stress environments
emotional strain
adequate compensation
public funds and resources
balanced and equitable society

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In many countries, the proportion of the younger generation is increasing more, and more than the older group. I believe there are more advantages to this than its drawbacks and my views regarding this are discussed.
6
band
As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Communication at present is important to social media online which makes for fun and real-time to read and learn about something. it affects a newspaper in hard copy less popular in the present. In this essay, I neither agree nor disagree and I extend reason in the below paragraphs.
7.5
band
Many people believe that by the year 2050, the current system involving both teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
The assertion that the traditional classroom setup will cease to exist by the year 2050 is audacious, although not entirely implausible. The educational landscape has been rapidly evolving due to technological advancements, shifts in societal values, and modifications in instructional approaches. Technology has already begun to revolutionize the delivery of education. Online learning platforms, virtual reality simulations, and AI-powered tutoring systems are increasingly prevalent. These tools offer personalized learning experiences, catering to individual students' needs and preferences, potentially rendering the traditional one-size-fits-all classroom model obsolete.
6
band
News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. Now people are beginning to realize that everyday news has become an essential part of our lives. Personally, I tend to think that showing both sides of the news is essential.
8
band
One of your friend lives in another country. You want to spend time working in that country. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter, you should: •describe why you want to work in that country; •tell him/her about your skills and experience; •ask some questions related to work (wage, salary)
Hello, my dear Tomas. I hope this letter finds you well.

The professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment starts or personalities. Do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that by the year 2050, the current system involving both teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?