The professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment starts or personalities. Do you agree or disagree

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #sports #entertainment #personalities

People argue that it is unfair for

doctors

nurses

and

teachers

to not earn the same or even more than the entertainment

stars

and personalities. I somewhat disagree towards

this

topic.

This

essay will examine both perspectives on the topic. On the one hand,

while

I think that

doctors

who have specialised in a particular subject earn very well, I think that

nurses

and

teachers

should earn more than what they currently earn.

This

due to

the fact that they are the backbone of our society and play a huge role in shaping us and making our future. I have seen many

nurses

and

teachers

struggle to make ends meet.

Moreover

doctors

and

nurses

save lives and do things an entertainment personality can not.

Furthermore

, people should appreciate more

nurses

and

doctors

than entertainment

stars

and personalities.

On the other hand

sports

stars

earn a lot of money because of the revenue they generate

due to

their popularity and fame, they are one of the major reasons for their country's economy and play a huge role in influencing people to do better like Cristiano Ronaldo encouraging kids to drink more water and less Coca-Cola.

Furthermore

, there are a lot of

doctors

and

nurses

in a country than

sports

stars

and

hence

, paying them equally or more than a

sports

star is not feasible.

To conclude

although

all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professionals work hard, I think that

while

doctors

nurses

and

teachers

should be paid more than what they are currently earning, they should not earn more than a

sports

star

due to

the disparity in the population of each profession.

Submitted by satyarthverma88 on Tue Aug 27 2024

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task achievement

Some of your points are well-articulated, but could benefit from further development. Ensure each main idea is thoroughly explored with specific, relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the struggles of nurses and teachers, personal anecdotes could be supplemented with data or broader examples.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is coherent and flows fairly well, but there are areas where the transitions could be smoother. For example, use more linking words or phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly, which will help improve readability.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the issue and the essay's purpose, setting up the reader for what to expect. This is very effective.

coherence cohesion

You successfully present and contrast both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

essential services
functioning and improvement of society
well-being and education
vital role
shaping the future generation
foundation for a better society
attract talented individuals
quality of education
on the front lines
maintaining public health
expertise and dedication
quality of life
market forces and consumer demand
prioritizing essential professions
long-term benefits
high-stress environments
emotional strain
adequate compensation
public funds and resources
balanced and equitable society

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The professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment starts or personalities. Do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion!

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?