IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT UNIFORM AT SCHOOL IS UNNECESSARY AND SHOULD BE BANNED. TO WHT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #uniform #school #wht
Undoubtedly,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 in educational institutes has become
topic
Correct article usage
a topic
show examples
 of talk among people. One school of thought opine that schools should turn a blind eye to
attire
Add an article
the attire
show examples
 of learners but I am completely against
this
 notion.
Analizing
Correct your spelling
Analyzing
 and explaining the causes, pupils in educational
institues
Correct your spelling
institutes
 hail from all walks of life, exhibiting varied economic and social backgrounds, and wearing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfortable
attire
 triggers better performance in academics.
Moreover
, if
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict
attire
 is not imposed
then
,in order to look
eminent
Change preposition
like eminent
show examples
 children invite unwelcome expenses, which is resentful for a common
breadwinder
Correct your spelling
breadwinner
 of family.
For instance
, in
Asia
Add a comma
Asia,
show examples
 a presentable wardrobe is provided by schools to all students in order to maintain equality.
Hence
, institutes should impart prominence to representable dress
Fix the agreement mistake
codes
show examples
code
Fix the agreement mistake
codes
show examples
. Probing ahead, a fastidious check on the dressing will result in teaching discipline to learners which is a prominent habit to lead life in a society.
This
 habit
further
lend
Change the verb form
lends
show examples
 a hand to individuals
while
 pursuing
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in significant organisations because
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
presentable
attire
 reflects an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 personality.To exemplify, in job interviews a
well dressed
Add a hyphen
well-dressed
show examples
 individual has more chances of selection as per studies.
Therefore
,
imposition
Correct article usage
the imposition
show examples
 of uniform plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role in developing
personality
Correct article usage
the personality
show examples
 of a person. To recapituate, owing to the aforementioned reasons it can be concluded that learning organisations should not disregard the implication of dress code because the benefits of
this
 can not be ignored.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: