The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011and 2018

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011and 2018
The graph depicts the
number
of shops that closed and opened in one country from 2011 to 2018. Years are measured in one-year
interval
Fix the agreement mistake
intervals
show examples
and the
number
of shops are measured in thousand intervals.
Overall
, the
number
of both
openings
and
closures
in the first year
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
greater than the
last
year 2018. The
number
of
closures
showed at 6300 in 2011,
then
dropped slightly to 6000. It represented a gradual increase at 7100 in 2013
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and declined marginally at 6500. From 2014 to 2015, it decreased dramatically
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
700,
then
skyrocketed to 5100 in 2016. Between 2016 and 2018, it remained at around 5000. In terms of
openings
, the
number
of
openings
dropped significantly from 2011 to 2012 at 8500 and 4000, respectively. It showed gradual increases until 2014 at 6000. It declined slightly to 4000 in 2015,
then
stayed at 4000 for 3 years. In 2018, it decreased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
3000. Looking at
closures
, from 2014 to 2015, the
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
charge was the biggest in both closings and
openings
. In terms of
openings
, the
number
of
openings
in 2011 showed the largest at 8500. In 2014, both the
number
of
openings
and
closures
appeared the same at around 6000.
Submitted by 0527.hibiki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, openings, closures with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: