The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
two line charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
the
percentage
of households
hold of
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
three kinds of electrical appliances,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
the time per family
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
housework each week.
Overall
, all kinds of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electrical
appliances'
Change noun form
appliances
show examples
percentage
hold in family
rise
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
in the past century, and the average work hours
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
housework continued to drop in the past hundreds of years. Unlike
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
show examples
and Vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
continued to climb in the past century, washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
experience rises and falls. In 1920,
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
hold of Vacuum Cleaner
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
30
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
higher than
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
, but after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
it's sharply increase
Change the verb form
it's sharply increased
it's sharply increasing
show examples
to nearly 90% in 1960,
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
just about 70%. The growth speed of both
appliance
Change to a plural noun
appliances
show examples
has slowed down compared with
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
1960(Vacuum cleaner) and 2000 (
Refrigerator
).
Washing
Correct article usage
The washing
show examples
machine
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a slight gap higher than
refrigerator
Add an article
a refrigerator
the refrigerator
show examples
, but it has
facing
Change the form of the verb
faced
show examples
ups and downs. The
percentage
of its holding rate
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slowly increased and
reach
Change the verb form
reached
show examples
its peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
1960, which
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
at the same level
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
. After a slight decrease in 1980, it stabilizes and slowly
growth
Replace the word
grows
show examples
into about 70% in 2019. The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of average hours per household
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
per week
keeping
Verb problem
has continued
show examples
to decrease in the past hundred years.
At
Change preposition
From
show examples
1920 to 1960 the number of housework times per family per week sharply
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
from 50%
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
20%, which has
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
tendency as electrical
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
, but
in contrast
.
Then
the decline speed
slow
Wrong verb form
slowed
show examples
down and stably
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
from 20%
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
10%(2019).
Submitted by 18922251299 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, refrigerator with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership of electrical appliances
  • steadily increased
  • dramatically decreased
  • correlating the rise
  • became common
  • households
  • prevalence
  • technological advancements
  • increased affordability
  • household chores
  • labor-saving devices
  • allocated for housework
What to do next:
Look at other essays: