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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experiences and personal qualities when they look for an employee. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that many
employers
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 place greater importance on formal academic
qualifications
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 than on life experience and personal qualities when selecting employees.
This
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 trend reflects changing expectations in the job market. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and evaluate whether it is a positive or negative development. One of the most apparent reasons is that academic
qualifications
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 are easier to measure and compare. To illustrate, degrees and certificates provide a standardised way for
employers
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 to assess candidates’ knowledge and abilities.
For instance
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,
employers
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 may use educational background as an initial screening tool to reduce the number of applicants.
In addition
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, certain professions require specific
qualifications
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 to ensure competence and safety,
such
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 as in medicine or engineering.
Therefore
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, relying on formal education can help
employers
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 make quicker and more structured hiring decisions. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
this
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 trend can have negative consequences. To clarify, focusing too much on academic
qualifications
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 may overlook important personal qualities
such
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 as communication skills, adaptability, and problem-solving ability.
For example
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, candidates with strong practical experience but fewer formal
qualifications
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 may be unfairly excluded from opportunities.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 approach may discourage individuals from developing real-world skills, which are often essential for long-term success in the workplace. To recapitulate, it is evident that
employers
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 prioritise academic
qualifications
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 because they are measurable and convenient,
while
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 the main drawback is that
this
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 approach may ignore valuable life experience and personal qualities.
Therefore
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, I believe that
this
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 is largely a negative development, and a more balanced evaluation system should be adopted to ensure fair and effective recruitment.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why this happens well, but your view on why it is bad can be more fully developed.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why employers choose people with degrees. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Your examples are clear, but they are quite general. Use one more specific example to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, with clear paragraphing. Keep this good structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are a bit formal and repeated in a fixed way. Try to use simple links like 'also', 'but', 'so', and 'because' in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph mixes reason and opinion. Make the main purpose of each paragraph clearer.
task response
You answer both questions in the task and give a clear opinion at the end.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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