In the recent years, televisions has contributed the most to changing people’s quality of life. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#years #televisions #people’s #quality #life

Some

people

insist that

television

plays a crucial role in modern society.

However

, some

people

argue that there are other factors which change

people

's quality of life,

such

as sports, paintings, and other materials related to the

individuals

Change noun form

individual's

individuals'

show examples

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

way. I totally agree

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

television

is the most interesting device that

change

Change the verb form

changes

show examples

people

's lives, because it entertains

peope

Correct your spelling

people

free

Correct pronoun usage

their free

show examples

time

, and gives helpful

information

. To commence with, there are many

television

shows which entertain the individuals. When

people

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free

time

, they can enjoy their

time

themselves by only watching

television

, without going outside.

For instance

, the

users

Correct quantifier usage

number of users

show examples

of Netflix or Disney Plus are increasing because

people

can easily choose a program which is suitable for their interest.

Moreover

, sometimes the popular

television

show can be a main topic of conversation.

Secondly

, the public can get new

information

easily. Compared to reading materials, visualized

information

helps

people

in many ways. The

information

can

be understand

Change the verb form

be understood

show examples

and memorized easily.

For instance

, primary school children can understand

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

"Animals

living

Capitalize word

Living

show examples

in Africa" more easily by watching

documentary

Fix the agreement mistake

documentaries

show examples

than

reading

Change preposition

by reading

show examples

books.

To sum up

television

led the humans' lives innovatively.

People

use

this

device

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

useful

infromation

Correct your spelling

information

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and make themselves enjoy

free

Correct pronoun usage

their free

show examples

time

Submitted by soyuyu9 on Tue Oct 24 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the recent years, televisions has contributed the most to changing people’s quality of life. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, knowledge is contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the adventages of this outweigh the disadventages.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?