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Band 4

In the recent years, televisions has contributed the most to changing people’s quality of life. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#years #televisions #people’s #quality #life
Some
people
 insist that
television
 plays a crucial role in modern society.
However
, some
people
 argue that there are other factors which change
people
's quality of life,
such
 as sports, paintings, and other materials related to the
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
individuals'
show examples
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 way. I totally agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
television
 is the most interesting device that
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
people
's lives, because it entertains
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 in
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
, and gives helpful
information
. To commence with, there are many
television
 shows which entertain the individuals. When
people
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
, they can enjoy their
time
 themselves by only watching
television
, without going outside.
For instance
, the
users
Correct quantifier usage
number of users
show examples
 of Netflix or Disney Plus are increasing because
people
 can easily choose a program which is suitable for their interest.
Moreover
, sometimes the popular
television
 show can be a main topic of conversation.
Secondly
, the public can get new
information
 easily. Compared to reading materials, visualized
information
 helps
people
 in many ways. The
information
 can
be understand
Change the verb form
be understood
show examples
 and memorized easily.
For instance
, primary school children can understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
"Animals
living
Capitalize word
Living
show examples
 in Africa" more easily by watching
documentary
Fix the agreement mistake
documentaries
show examples
 than
reading
Change preposition
by reading
show examples
 books.
To sum up
,
television
 led the humans' lives innovatively.
People
 use
this
 device
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 useful
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and make themselves enjoy
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
.
Submitted by soyuyu9 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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