IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line chart shows average attendance at the cinema among various age groups in the US from 2000 to 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart shows average attendance at the cinema among various age groups in the US from 2000 to 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph displays detailed information on the numbers of attendees at the cinema
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 7-14,15-24,25-35,35 and over between 2000 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is evident from the chart that
although
Linking Words
 there are
alteration
Fix the agreement mistake
alterations
show examples
,there's an upward trend in all age groups.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,in 2000,the number of people who visited the cinema was around 15 to 24, being the highest in that year
while
Linking Words
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 was 35 and over at 1%. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
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 people between 15-24 and 35 above increased rapidly
although
Linking Words
 there were fluctuations and was at 51% hitting the peak of the chart and 12% respectively in 2011.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,a similar pattern was observed among people aged 7-14 and 15-24,as there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
varaiations
Correct your spelling
variations
variation
 over the years with an intersection at 15% between 2004 and 2006 and 32% from 2008-2010 and both stood at 30% in 2011.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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