IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #art
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Spending on
government
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's money on art is considered a waste so
according to
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 some there could be other alternatives to spend money on. In my opinion, I agree that authorities ought to spend more on other valuable
sectors
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 than the
arts
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 as it will greatly benefit
society
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons that support to above statement like allocation of priorities and
return
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 to the
society
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. A good reason to get rid of spending on
arts
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 is that it is the
government
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's duty to prioritise their expenses on fundamental units rather than on
arts
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.
This
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 is because, limited resources should be directed toward the most pressing needs
such
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 as healthcare, education and infrastructure. In
this
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 way, they are able to manage the
government
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's expenditure exclusively. Since the governing bodies have their own priorities, private
sectors
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 can be encouraged to provide donations and scholarships which will help to improve
this
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 sector. Another point to consider is that funding for things like
arts
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 provides no
return
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 to
society
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 compared with others. It is an economic concern that people believe, the
arts
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 do not generate a sufficient
return
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 on investment in terms of economic growth and job creation
while
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 other
sectors
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 provide more tangible and economic benefits. In conclusion, funding for other valuable
sectors
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 than
arts
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 is a must for any country because prioritising expenses is vital to any
government
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 as it contributes a significant
return
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 to
society
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 that people demand the most. The cost of beneficial areas will be recouped many times over by the benefits it brings.
Submitted by nishadi.kaluarachchi on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the question in detail and provide specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs and across the essay. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the key points presented in the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions. Try to avoid repetitive language and consider using more collocations and idiomatic phrases.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and aim for more complex and varied sentence constructions. Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, verb tense consistency, and word choice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • promoting cultural diversity
  • stimulates economic growth
  • creative industries
  • revenue
  • economic competitiveness
  • quality of life
  • wellbeing
  • social cohesion
  • strategic investment
  • sustainable development
  • accountability
  • extravagant
  • resilience
  • public discourse
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