Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
some individuals think that lessening polluted environment and accommodation issues
by
the attention of the government could avoid several health problems. In my opinion, I have Change preposition
with
opposite
view Correct article usage
the opposite
with
that belief.
Change preposition
of
In
the one hand, granted that Change preposition
On
concentrate
on alleviating contaminations and housing matters can improve Wrong verb form
concentrating
citizens
life standards. Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
for example
, the
toxic emissions Correct article usage
apply
such
as smogs
and Correct subject-verb agreement
smog
wastes
from factories and vehicles may Fix the agreement mistake
waste
release
into the air and water Wrong verb form
be released
that
cause Correct pronoun usage
apply
polluted
in many areas, Replace the word
pollution
have
Correct word choice
and have
large
negative effect on Add an article
a large
the
daily life and even their breath. Correct article usage
apply
moreover
, people who live in low quality of
accommodation, especially Change preposition
apply
Change preposition
in slum
slum
, could get Fix the agreement mistake
slums
higher
rate of Add an article
a higher
inflectious
. by supporting Correct your spelling
infectious
greater
area to live, they completely cannot assess with Correct article usage
a greater
this
disease.
In
the other hand, the mentioned ways play Change preposition
On
negligible
role in the causes of illness. I believe there Add an article
a negligible
have
various better ways that Verb problem
are
government
need to concentrate Correct article usage
the government
to against
Change preposition
on
this
matter. first,
administration
can invest Correct article usage
the administration
for
Change preposition
in
scientist
to research new vaccines to tackle Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
with
every available Change preposition
apply
viruss
or create Correct your spelling
viruses
virus
a environmentally friendly energy sources
that can prevent us from unwanted problems. Correct the article-noun agreement
an environmentally friendly energy source
environmentally friendly energy sources
in addition
, the authority could prepare and encourage the dwellers engage
Fix the infinitive
to engage
healthcare
programs and activities. For Change preposition
in healthcare
Replace the word
instance
instant
they can put more exercise Add a comma
instant,
equipments
in the public Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
playground
to enhance the quality Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
life
of Change preposition
of life
citizen
. Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Furthermore
, through schooling, student
can learn many methods to heighten their immune system.
In conclusion, I think Add an article
the student
a student
concentrate
on cutting down the environmental and accommodation problems are waste of money and Wrong verb form
concentrating
time consuming
, so we need to get more Add a hyphen
time-consuming
remedy
, and even increase the knowledge of people.Fix the agreement mistake
remedies
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coherence cohesion
The essay should provide a clearer structure, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea and supporting details. Ensure your arguments are logically organized.
task achievement
To fully respond to the task, address both the points of view presented and offer comprehensive support and examples for your opinions.
task achievement
Improve grammar and vocabulary. This will help in making your essay clearer and more professional.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear opinion and is well-structured into separate paragraphs.
task achievement
You include several specific examples to support your ideas, which enhances the quality of your arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.