Some school are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, While other schools have a very relaxed dress code. (What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?)

While
there are many schools
impose
Verb problem
that require
show examples
learners to wear a certain
dress
code, other schools give
students
the freedom to wear whatever they want.
This
essay will discuss the merits
as well as
the demerits of wearing uniforms at schools. On one hand,wearing a specific
dress
could play a pivotal role in radiating a feeling of equality among
students
.
In other words
, many young
students
come from poor families where purchasing
clothes
, regularly, might put financial burdens on them.
Thus
, having a unified cloth will help those youngsters to feel that they are just equal to others.
For instance
, in Iraq, a number of teachers have noticed a significant reduction in the discrimination level between pupils, after imposing a specific
dress
code for each school. What can be said here is that
dress
code may have an indispensable impact on
students
'
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, and will give them a sense of equality.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the other hand, despite the above-mentioned point, it can still be claimed that having a strict uniform regulation could negatively affect learners' psychological health. To illustrate, enforcing unified
clothes
with certain designs and colours will activate a feeling of restriction.
Accordingly
, young
students
might feel that they have been deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
their liberty to wear what they want. Eventually, some psychological illnesses
such
as anxiety and depression will
be emerged
Change to the active voice
emerge
have emerged
show examples
, and the prime culprit is the sensation of restraint and restriction.
This
can be exemplified by a survey conducted by a group of Iraqi civil society activists that showed about two-thirds of pupils feeling pressured because of their strict uniforms.
This
example shows that giving pupils the autonomy to
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
their own
clothes
will have a positive effect on their mentality. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has reiterated the above-mentioned points, it can be assumed that
although
embracing homogenous
clothes
may assist in limiting social inequalities, it could
also
restrain
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
freedom, simultaneously.
Submitted by Drfatima.Abdullah on

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task response
The essay needs to provide a more in-depth analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms. Each point should be developed further with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear overall structure. It would benefit from a more organized and cohesive flow of ideas. Consider using clearer signposting language to connect ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
The vocabulary and language used are adequate, but more sophisticated and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay. Consider using more academic and formal language to convey ideas.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in the essay. Review the use of complex sentence structures, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement to improve grammatical range and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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