The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences. Only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, the
shortage
of housing in metropolitan areas is a major social issue and has a serious impact on their citizens. Some advocates mentioned that only the
government
can take the appropriate actions to resolve
this
vital problem. The regulator can formulate the long-term resolution of the housing problem and commercial companies or non-profit organizations can work with
government
bodies to manipulate the short-term rules to help those
people
suffering from a
shortage
of housing.
To begin
with,
it is clear that
not sufficient land to build the housing estate is one of the key factors in the
shortage
of housing. As
government
bodies are the land owners in its territory, they have the right to make the new lands.
For example
, new lands in Hong Kong can be made by reclamation. New houses can be built in the new district. If so,
people
can relocate from the old zone to the new district and the old building can be rebuilt into a new modern building. Land-making is the
government
's responsibility.
On the other hand
, some non-
government
bodies are managing different buildings and homes. They can request to change the purpose to allow
people
to live here.
For example
, as factories in Hong Kong are moved to mainland China, some empty industrial buildings can be changed for residential purposes. Those changes can help
people
to live in suitable homes which can improve their living standards.
To sum up
, the
government
not only resolves the
shortage
of housing by land-making but
also
business companies and charity organizations can facilitate the resolution of
this
housing problem by using different kinds of buildings in efficient ways.
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic, but it could benefit from a clearer stance in the introduction, directly stating the extent to which you agree or disagree.
task achievement
Develop the introduction with a thesis statement to outline the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will also help to fully develop the task response.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Current connections between points appear simplistic.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by specific details.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, restate your thesis and summarize your main points without introducing new ideas.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • public housing
  • overcrowding
  • affordable housing
  • rent control
  • property market
  • infrastructure development
  • sustainable living
  • rural-urban migration
  • real estate regulations
  • zoning laws
  • bureaucracy
  • gentrification
  • economic disparity
  • housing policy
  • social welfare
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