some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. others However, say they life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views amd give your own opinion.

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They are two different
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
, the first of them
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is some
people
Use synonyms
think when they become elderly nowadays it's more
diffuclt
Correct your spelling
difficult
and bad.
Besides
Linking Words
,
another side
Replace the word
on the other hand
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
think it's much better the life thid days for getting old. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
will discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
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apply
show examples
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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and
i
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I
show examples
will draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
think it's bad to become elderly nowadays. First of all, they think because nowadays they will
cannot
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not
show examples
go outside to take
freash
Correct your spelling
fresh
air same
in
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as in
show examples
the past because nowadays the air it's become not cleaner because they are a
lot
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of transport and factory pollution.
Also
Linking Words
, maybe they think they cannot go
where ever
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wherever
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they want because there will be a
lot
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of
noises
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noise
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and
crowded
Wrong verb form
crowds
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.
However
Linking Words
, maybe they believe they will be tired whole the time because nowadays
whereever
Correct your spelling
wherever
where ever
you go the place it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
bigger.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
another
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other
show examples
people
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think
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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that they believe it's good to
getting
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get
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old
in
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apply
show examples
these days.
In addition
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, they think nowadays have
a
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apply
show examples
modern medicine and more
hospital
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hospitals
show examples
also
Linking Words
doctors than past because when they become elderly they will have a
lot
Use synonyms
of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
their health and body and that's
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
thing for them.
However
Linking Words
, they believe these days not necessary to go mall
for buying
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to buy
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anything because now we have online shopping we can buy
what ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
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we want and
they
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we
show examples
can avoid
crowded
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crowds
show examples
and
noises
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noise
show examples
.
Also
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, they think nowadays they can travel to
other country mote
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another country mote
other country motes
show examples
quite and they will feel comfortable.
However
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, nowadays the government give the elderly
salary
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a salary
show examples
without
they
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their
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work.
To
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In
show examples
conclusion, in my opinion
of
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apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
first
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think nowadays it's
good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
for elderly
peoplr
Correct your spelling
people
than past because now we have a
lot
Use synonyms
of
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
to help them.
Also
Linking Words
, I believe the government should
built
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build
be built
show examples
some place
for
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so
show examples
that
people
Use synonyms
no body
Correct your spelling
nobody
show examples
else can join there
such
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as
paro
Correct article usage
a paro
show examples
or mall
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurants
that will be more interesting for them.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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