IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#clothes #lots
Some
people
 believe that having just a number of luxurious
ones
 is better than buying a mass of low-cost
ones
. In my opinion, a few expensive
clothes
 are better because in a long
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 they save more
money
 and the appearance looks smart. Purchasing needs are a vital part of
people
’s lives, and one of the common things that have a variety is
clothes
.
Firstly
, in the recent modern world, there are a huge number of fashion trade with different goals in their company and introduce trendy
ones
 weekly, so they need to use a majority of nonrenewable materials and most of them are not environmentally friendly.
Moreover
, most of them would rather produce goods at low cost so lots of
people
 with different incomes can able to purchase them.
For example
, most of the cheaper
clothes
 made of plastics and nylon
as a result
, they are not recycled and for a long time be exist on the earth and contribute to many environmental problems.
On the other hand
, expensive
clothes
 are made with high-quality materials and
also
 have more observation system when they are in the factories, a smart designer works for their shape so they are able to be worn for several years
in addition
 in long time causing to save
money
 and prevent to waste
money
.
Secondly
, when
people
 wear
clothes
 as luxurious items, their appearance looks smart and wealthy, so it is a better choice for
people
’s wearing.
In addition
, when
people
 are used to buying these and
also
 avoid purchasing daily, they can control their awful behaviour in the result, reducing consumerism. In conclusion, using expensive
clothes
 not only can cause
people
 to be able to save
money
 and look richer than when wearing the cheaper
ones
 but
also
 can reduce the bad habit of consumerism.
Submitted by zare.19866 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay provides a clear argument on the given topic, but some of the points lack elaboration and development. Try to focus on fully developing each point you make.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. However, some of the main points lack strong supporting details. Work on providing more cohesive support for your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: