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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Even though globalization has a very positive impact on the world's economy. Its negative aspects should not be overlooked. Do you agree or disagree?

With the advent of globalisation, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are using modern technology as a part of their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, which
as a result
Linking Words
 is uplifting the economy throughout the globe. But the negative side of
this
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developement
Correct your spelling
development
 ought
not
Add the word
not to
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 be overseen. I completely agree with the
above stated
Add a hyphen
above-stated
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 notion. Endangering the personal lives of
people
Use synonyms
,
as well as
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rise
Add an article
the rise
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 of numerous fraudulent agencies will prove
this
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.
To begin
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 with, modern up-to-date technology has made the lives of
people
Use synonyms
 easier and has enabled them to connect to the whole world by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
means of social media platforms. Populace
nowaday's
Change noun form
nowadays
show examples
post
Correct subject-verb agreement
posts
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 events happening in their day-to-day life on various platforms like
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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 and
instagram
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Instagram
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 empowers
people
Use synonyms
 like stalkers to gain an inside edge into somebody's life they have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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 in.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
nation wide
Correct your spelling
nationwide
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 survey, most crimes like
eve teasing
Add a hyphen
eve-teasing
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 or rape are on
a
Correct article usage
the
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 rise, as criminals can easily know where and what their victim is doing through the help of social media applications. To continue with, as
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
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 economy is achieving great heights, a major chunk of
population
Add an article
the population
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 is still under the working class who are trying to make ends meet. Attractive investment schemes run by fraudulent agencies are striving on these
people
Use synonyms
, using them as a commodity to earn money.
By using
Change preposition
Using
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 advanced technology and advertising through various platforms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 helped these fraudsters to have a strong grip on the struggling populace.
For example
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, as per record
last
Linking Words
 year the
people
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 of India lost around twenty million dollars on various fraudulent schemes operating nationwide.
To sum up
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, the advent of globalisation works like a
double edged
Add a hyphen
double-edged
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 sword. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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people
Use synonyms
 are achieving wonders in every sector but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 there is
rise
Add an article
a rise
the rise
show examples
 in notorious activity. Individuals should not let their
gaurd
Correct your spelling
guard
 down
,
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apply
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 when it comes to
safe-gaurd
Correct your spelling
safe-guard
 their privacy and wealth. It's solely the
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsible
 to
lookout
Correct your spelling
look out
show examples
 for themselves.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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