Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think that people can not be expected to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whether to choose a satisfying
job
or a satisfying paycheck is a great dilemma for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
says that a
secure
job
is more crucial than a satisfying
job
while
other think that
satisfaction
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
is more significant
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
a
secure
job
.
This
essay intends to
interprete
Correct your spelling
interpret
both viewpoints. I, personally with the former view. There are
verious
Correct your spelling
various
causes to select a
secure
job
. First of all, a
secure
job
ensure
Change the verb form
ensures
show examples
regular income which is very significant to
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
one's living like daily expenses,
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
rent, debts and some savings for retirement.
Secondly
,
people
who choose a
secure
job
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel less stress
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
being fired for their silly mistakes than the
people
who choose
satisfying
Add an article
a satisfying
the satisfying
show examples
job
.
Farthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, a
secure
job
ensure stability in the
job
sector and it
also
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
several opportunities to increase
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
productivity and profitability.
On the other hand
,
people
who
right
Add a missing verb
are right
show examples
behind the satisfying
job
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that a satisfying
job
is significant to
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
a better
worklife
Correct your spelling
work-life
work life
balance.
In addition
, a satisfying
job
motivate
Change the verb form
motivates
show examples
employees to become more
dedicative
Correct your spelling
dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
organsiation
Correct your spelling
organisation
which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to increase the productivity of the
organsiation
Correct your spelling
organisation
.
Job
satisfaction
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
work stress which is
also
important to lead a
batter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
life. To cite an example, a
freelencer
Correct your spelling
freelancer
can work
according to
their willingness which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to create a good
worklife
Correct your spelling
work-life
work life
balance and to lead to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life. I believe that, though
job
satisfaction
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
enormous benefits
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
job
security is more important than
job
satisfaction
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
are so dynamic their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and demand change with time when they achieve
job
satisfaction
they expect more so,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think
this
job
satisfaction
is not constant.
As well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
,
job
satisfaction
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
their productivity which is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their creative thinking. After fulfilling
job
satisfaction
they become less ambitious
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them dull.
Conversily
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, a
secure
job
motivate employees to give their best
afford
Correct your spelling
effort
show examples
with little worries about being fired. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would like to reiterate my opinion that, though
job
satisfaction
is important in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
job
security is more significant than it because
job
security
ensure
Change the verb form
ensures
show examples
regular income and keep individuals
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
fron
Correct your spelling
from
being fired.
Submitted by sakhayathossenkiron38 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: