IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think that people can not be expected to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
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Whether to choose a satisfying
job
Use synonyms
 or a satisfying paycheck is a great dilemma for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
 says that a
secure
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 is more crucial than a satisfying
job
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 other think that
satisfaction
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
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 is more significant
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 a
secure
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to
interprete
Correct your spelling
interpret
 both viewpoints. I, personally with the former view. There are
verious
Correct your spelling
various
 causes to select a
secure
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job
Use synonyms
. First of all, a
secure
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job
Use synonyms
ensure
Change the verb form
ensures
show examples
 regular income which is very significant to
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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 one's living like daily expenses,
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
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 rent, debts and some savings for retirement.
Secondly
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,
people
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 who choose a
secure
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job
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel less stress
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 being fired for their silly mistakes than the
people
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 who choose
satisfying
Add an article
a satisfying
the satisfying
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
Farthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, a
secure
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job
Use synonyms
 ensure stability in the
job
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 sector and it
also
Linking Words
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 several opportunities to increase
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
productivity and profitability.
On the other hand
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who
right
Add a missing verb
are right
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 behind the satisfying
job
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argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that a satisfying
job
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 is significant to
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a better
worklife
Correct your spelling
work-life
work life
 balance.
In addition
Linking Words
, a satisfying
job
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motivate
Change the verb form
motivates
show examples
 employees to become more
dedicative
Correct your spelling
dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
organsiation
Correct your spelling
organisation
 which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to increase the productivity of the
organsiation
Correct your spelling
organisation
.
Job
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satisfaction
Use synonyms
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 work stress which is
also
Linking Words
 important to lead a
batter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
 life. To cite an example, a
freelencer
Correct your spelling
freelancer
 can work
according to
Linking Words
 their willingness which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to create a good
worklife
Correct your spelling
work-life
work life
 balance and to lead to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life. I believe that, though
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 enormous benefits
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 security is more important than
job
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satisfaction
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. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 are so dynamic their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 and demand change with time when they achieve
job
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satisfaction
Use synonyms
 they expect more so,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 is not constant.
Linking Words
As well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 their productivity which is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their creative thinking. After fulfilling
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 they become less ambitious
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them dull.
Conversily
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, a
secure
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 motivate employees to give their best
afford
Correct your spelling
effort
show examples
 with little worries about being fired. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to reiterate my opinion that, though
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is important in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 security is more significant than it because
job
Use synonyms
 security
ensure
Change the verb form
ensures
show examples
 regular income and keep individuals
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 being fired.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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