Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Most

kids

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nowadays have hours of screen time on their

smartphones

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on a daily basis.

This

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phenomenon is completely different than in the past when children were spending most of their moment in the playground and had a direct interaction with their surroundings. Just as the shifting behaviour happened, I believe that the existence of smart devices could be a negative influence in terms of children’s social skills development.

Initially

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, the amusing features installed in the smartphone are the main reason that has been attracting

kids

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. These entertainments are easily accessible as children grow with high curiosity to try new things that are desirable,

such

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as listening to music, watching YouTube for

kids

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, and playing a broad range of games.

Thus

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, it is undeniable that

smartphones

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win a child’s heart in the first place. As an effect,

kids

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are being taken away from socializing as it is important to grow the social skills that can’t be found in

smartphones

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. Children need to socialize with their peers and elder people in various circumstances to drive their emotional stability. As an example, my five-year-old cousin used to have a high screen time on her smartphone

due to

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COVID-19 conditions that required us to stay at home during the pandemic.

This

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behaviour has a major impact on her unstable emotions compared to her older brother who socialized more at similar age. In summary, children’s behaviour has undoubtedly shifted because they spend most of their interaction on

smartphones

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. Unless preventive steps are taken, the negative impact could be worsening the development of their social skills.

Thus

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, decreasing

kids

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’ hours spent on smart devices each day will help

limits

Wrong verb form

limit

show examples

the negative impact on their social ability.

kania.tunggadewiWed Oct 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Include a stronger and more definitive introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Expand on your main points with more supporting details and examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that public buildings should be moved out ò the city to promote citizen's well-being and better economic growing, while some argue that the planning will cause more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people now prefer to get their news on the Internet. Talk about some of the ways this has changed people’s lives.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' • To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?