Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future. Please enter new information and examples here and not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form.

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On September 2, 300,000 teachers gathered in front of the National Assembly building in Seoul. We held a rally to mourn the death of a teacher who recently committed suicide and demand the restoration of teaching authority. The teacher’s colleague said, "She was bright, versatile, and passionate about teaching." I cried a lot because we lost

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a wonderful teacher. The place I'm working now is a dangerous place when I meet a student who hits and curses me.

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, it is a dangerous place where I may meet parents who report me for child abuse. There is no system for teachers to protect themselves in Korea. To change Korea’s future

education

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, I want to know which country’s

education

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system we should borrow.

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research released by the Korea

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Development Institute, the UK protects the right to teach at the legal level. I heard that the British government continues to make efforts to reduce the mental and physical burden of teachers by effectively managing students' undesirable behaviour.

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is why I want to study about ‘

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’ in the U.K. The MA Comparative

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offered at the University College London is my first choice as it provides dynamics of

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policy and society. What I’m looking for the most is that

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class is dialogue-oriented teaching. I’m excited to share insights and experiences about

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from around the world. I especially want to take a class on Traditions and Systems in Europe module as it teaches why some governments are more successful than others in solving

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problems.

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, the recent research topic of the professor was ‘inequality of

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’ which is similar to my interests. The MA

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offered at King’s College London University is my second choice. By

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course, I can develop a critical understanding of educational policies by drawing on contemporary research. There is

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a wide range of optional modules. I’m attracted that I can choose Comparative

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, Child Health and Development, and STEM

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which I really desire to study.

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, I prefer

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course because it provides innovative technology so that students experience elements of digital learning. MSc

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: General Pathway offered by the University of Edinburgh is my third choice. I chose

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course because it has a compulsory module Attention Deficit Disorder and Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

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I had led inclusive classrooms for four years, I noticed that I needed to be more expert about Autistic. In 2020, luckily I got a working holiday visa and I made my bucket list to do in London

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as eating Eton Mess and Flapjack, watching musicals in the West End, and visiting the Notting Hill Bookshop.

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, before the flight, I was denied entry from Vietnam, which was a stopover because of corona. I can’t forget the disappointment of that time, and I want to get a second chance. Any of the three universities mentioned above would help me to maximize my potential to be a great changemaker in Korea.

Submitted by soyuyu9 on Wed Oct 25 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

498 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Tourism is one of thw fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different places by traveling there. Other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.