Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #society #immigrants #customs #codes #behavior

It is true that nowadays,

people

often move to another nation from their own country.

While

there are some drawbacks to

forbid

Wrong verb form

forbidding

show examples

immigrants to adapt to the local custom and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, I believe that

this

notion is

due to

the risk it presents.

This

is perfectly exemplified in

case

Fix the agreement mistake

cases

show examples

not only

academic

Change preposition

for academic

show examples

purposes but

also

working ones. Most

people

are migrating for not only academic purposes but work

also

Furthermore

, students should learn other languages,customs and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

for their educational purpose,

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

they can face difficulties.typically, if they can catch these aspects,it may lead to

winning

Verb problem

achieving

show examples

their aims easily.

Secondly

people

who are going to other countries for their wealth, want to follow new customs and codes of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For example

,if they go to work abroad,they may face meetings,parties

as well as

get together,

Correct word choice

and at

show examples

that time they want to eat food by using forks,

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

they feel ashamed .Undoubtedly,

this

abandonment of

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

has significant consequences for their successful lives.

However

,if

people

adopt a new civilization,it would have detrimental effects on their own

culture

Therefore

, the majority of families have a great influence on different cultures so they will lose their art.

As a result

culture

and customs which are learnt by us by our ancestors,are not passed on to the next generation and they will not understand the value of their own

culture

For example

, a person who

followed

Wrong verb form

follows

show examples

Tamil

culture

has great devotion songs . If she/ he

lost

Wrong verb form

loses

show examples

it they cannot give

this

art to the next generation.

To conclude

, nowadays

people

want to become wealthy and independent.

Therefore

, should they learn about other cultures

as well as

by learning

this

, they will not face a cultural shock but it would lead to cultural loss

as a result

, they should follow their motherland cultures in order to prevent cultural loss.

Submitted by anhnn201 on Wed Oct 25 2023

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for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

migration
integration
social cohesion
cultural clashes
original culture
diversity
identity loss
psychological distress
balanced approach
local customs
cultural identities

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Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and trasportation. Do the advantages of this devlopment outweight the disadvantages.