IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scorer in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #scorer #exams #show #progress
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an emerging discussion regarding the evaluation of examinee in their test.
While
 some educationalist advocates for rewarding grade for the
students
 who get the highest score, others advocate for recognizing the gradual progress of the
students
. The essay aims to highlight both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and give a concluding opinion. Those who support the evaluation of
uppermost
Correct article usage
the uppermost
show examples
 grading system have some strong arguments in favour of their view. First of all, if the pupils with great results in their examination get an appreciation for their achievement, it will eventually motivate others to work hard to acquire
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
This
 will have an impact on the
overall
 success of the institution.
Furthermore
, the proponents of the concerned view often cite examples from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Canada where the topper
students
 get financial rewards based on their academic results.
Such
 types of scholarships give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduates relief in managing their educational costs and enable their parents to save some money from their budget. To the supporters of the idea, these arguments are enough convincing.
However
, those who advocate for highlighting the progress report
instead
 of
grading
Add an article
the grading
a grading
show examples
 system for
evaluation
Correct article usage
the evaluation
show examples
 of
students
 have some strong arguments in their
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
. At the very first point , they see the marking process as a compulsive system for the infants as they have to take so much pressure to get the highest mark from their parents and teachers at the initial stage of their education life.
This
 has been demonstrated by several scientific research that excessive burden of education may have detrimental
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
 and mental development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters.
By contrast
, if the assessment
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 place on the continuous development of the learners,
this
 would guide the teachers to monitor them more effectively.
To conclude
, to lessen the mountainous burden of achieving
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 grade in the test , the process of monitoring the constant advancement of the
students
 should be encouraged.
Submitted by a.m.rahat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: