Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reality #tool #interventions #health #treatments

Virtual

reality

can be used for therapeutic intervention and

also

for treating people with mental stability issues. I strongly agree with

this

statement because I believe that

such

technology is easy to access which is important for medicinal purposes and

also

it can boost the mental state of individuals who need support. One of the advantages of using virtual

reality

for healing purposes is accessibility.

This

is because virtual

reality

can be used anywhere and anytime with only small resources needed which is favorable for people with health problems.

For example

, a person in Indonesia utilizes virtual

reality

to access information regarding his health from his own bed since he is not able to move.

Moreover

, virtual

reality

can be used to uplift the mental state of a person in need of support.

This

is because

this

machine can easily bring companionship from anywhere which is direly needed by individuals with mental problems. Even Though the friends are only in virtual form, it is sufficient to boost the individual's morale.

For instance

, in Indonesia, there are groups of people who are diagnosed with mental illness forming an alliance in virtual

reality

with any person on the globe to give support to each other. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement because I believe that virtual

reality

is very reliable for folks with health issues since it can be used anywhere and anytime, and

such

technology can enhance the mental state of individuals with mental problems by providing companionship.

Submitted by rizkyrizalzal on Wed Oct 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more developed to provide a clearer overview of the main points.

task achievement

The response addresses the task adequately and presents clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed, and the logical structure needs improvement for better coherence and cohesion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that family is the most powerful influence of a child's development while others thing other factors such as friends, television and music have better influence. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

In the future, the younger generation will have nothing to learn from their parents or grandparents. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss, giving examples from your own knowledge and experience.