IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Smoking not only harm the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. Discuss both views and give your opinions

#harm #smoker #places
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In the modern era, smoking is not only an increasing concern for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 around the world but
also
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 a very controversial issue.
While
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 it is argued that smoking should be banned because of its negative effects,
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however
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however,
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 other
people
Use synonyms
 feel that it should not, because it is very
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to a country. Generally speaking, there is a wide variety of reasons why
people
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 think
Government
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the Government
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 should forbid smoking in important places like hospitals, offices, schools and so on. Perhaps, the main reason against
this
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 idea is that smoking is injurious to
health
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the health
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 for only the smokers but
also
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 the
people
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 who stand or sit nearby. A good illustration is
thar
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that
 sometimes it creates serious health diseases like lung cancer, asthma and suffocation
problem
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problems
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to
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for
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the secondary smoker. A
further
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 point is that smoking is very carcinogenic and it smells very bad. The
people
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 who are
nearby
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near
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 the smoker feel uncomfortable because of the odour of cigarettes and sometimes it leads to
smell
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smelling
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 your clothes like tobacco for
rest
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the rest
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 of the day. Despite these arguments,
people
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 feel that smoking should be allowed. The main reason in
fovour
Correct your spelling
favour
 of smoking is because it not only solves the unemployment issues but
also
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 increases the national revenue. Though many
people
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 think that banning smoking is very urgent
but
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apply
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it in terms leads to
increase
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an increase
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 the employment problems because many
people
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 are engaged in tobacco
manufacturer
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manufacturing
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 companies, bars, nightclubs and so on. Another reason behind
this
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 idea is that
Government
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the Government
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 get
huge
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a huge
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 amount of tax from these types of products which leads to
huge
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a huge
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 addition of revenue to the national reserve. In conclusion, it can be said that smoking has become a complex issue with no easy solutions. If we look
both
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at both
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side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of the
arguments
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argument
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,
it is clear that
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 smoking should be allowed but it needs some rules and regulations. If
Government
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the Government
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 takes some necessary steps to make some private areas for smoking,
then
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 it will be less harmful to the
people
Use synonyms
 who stand nearby.
Submitted by rummanurrahad2038 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement that outlines your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner using paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and use appropriate verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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