ome countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The debates over whether hiring more
police
helps reduce transgression or not have been going on continuously since the number of illegal cases has been extended recently in many states. It is believed that increased policing can bring down the problem of infractions and violence; meanwhile, a majority of individuals consider that they aren’t doing their role
therefore
this
act isn't needed. Despite employing more
police
can deter many harmful actions, I strongly agree that the government should retribute
police
jobs with other factors. There’s no doubt that
police
can potentially help reduce crime committees. The more law enforcement, the more fear for perpetrators to be caught, and
therefore
they will be deterred from committing violations. When
police
officers identify specific problems, try to understand them, and make a tailored plan to solve them, it can reduce crime.
For instance
, in New York City in 2017, the crime statistics dropped to fewer than 300 cases of murder.
Moreover
, more
police
officers bring up effective in-time responses for emergencies since they are distributed more evenly. Because of the shortage of responders, the overload of work leads to stress in the workplace, and some unfortunate situations can happen. One of the most noticeable problems of
police
recruitment stems from the unfair funding allocated. More cops means more budgets are needed for that department than the other departments,
however
, the over-prioritizing and policing results from the lack of budgets for dealing with other problems at the root.
In addition
, social workers, scholarships for underserved groups, educational programs, or some other sectors will have limited budgets. It is evident
according to
calculations of index illegal acts, that crimes come from socio-economic conditions caused by the short amount of income for daily services. By reframing the issue in more equal and effective ways,
this
issue may be improved. A case in point would be the divided capital equally, the factors that are fundamental to ensure and maintain a stable life
such
as health, education, and housing should be carried out. Take into account education,
instead
of drugs, violent games, and being exposed to negative influences; the volume of homework distracts students and keeps them busy.
Such
an effort can reduce the occurrence of minor cases, by educating children to become civil members of society. In conclusion,
while
the
police
have been a great help to improve society, there are varieties of recommendations that we can take action to greater about the issue and build a peaceful world.
Submitted by nguyen on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance but needs to provide a more balanced and detailed argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks clear transitions and a cohesive structure. Work on organizing the essay into clear paragraphs and connecting ideas more effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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