IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neigbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neigbourhood #sports #children
In the
contamporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 era, voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 are good
signs
Fix the agreement mistake
sign
show examples
 of
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 and harmonic society. That's why some people think that it is supposed to be obligatory in high schools. I think that
such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work may be optional and not compulsory, but I still think that it is very important to speak about the effect of these
works
 from the early education period.  Unpaid community services may
contrebute
Correct your spelling
contribute
 a lot
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the whole age
sections
Fix the agreement mistake
section
show examples
 in each society,
hence
, some may think that it should
ba
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 a part of high school
scheduales
Correct your spelling
schedules
.
For instance
, when I was a teenager, our teachers asked
as
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 to go over around the school and ask people to donate money for
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
cancer's
Change noun form
cancer
show examples
 patients. It was a very good experience
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 me and from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 age I have learned that helping others for free may add a huge value to my life. 
On the other hand
, I think that pupils
shold
Correct your spelling
should
 not be
compulsated
Correct your spelling
complicated
compensated
 to do
shuch
Correct your spelling
such
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 the contrary, I think that
such
 acts should be done with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big love and joy. People may
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 very well in every job they do when it is done from the heart. Pupils may appreciate
such
a voluntary
Correct the article-noun agreement
voluntary works
a voluntary work
show examples
works
 much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better if they understand why they should do it and how much it adds to the others.
To conclude
, I think that everyone can enjoy
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unpaid
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 work and
this
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 good sign of
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
.
Nevertheless
, these
works
 may be more
valueble
Correct your spelling
valuable
 if it is done when the one who
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 benefits.
Submitted by leenaasalee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • compulsory part
  • high school programmes
  • charity
  • improving the neighborhood
  • teaching sports
  • civic engagement
  • sense of responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • personal development
  • academic development
  • bridging the gap
  • social and economic groups
  • equal opportunities
  • academic studies
  • extracurricular activities
  • flexibility
  • implementation
  • individual circumstances
What to do next:
Look at other essays: