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Band 5

Luck plays essential part in being successful/unsuccessful. Do you agree or disagree.

#luck #part
The ways of being successful are always being popular issue for
people
. Some
people
 believe that
luck
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being successful. I, personally, disagree with
this
 idea and believe
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
 making enough
effort
 is as important as being lucky. Some
people
 tend to believe in magical stories
such
 as a man becomes the richest man in the country in a night, or a woman suddenly
turns
Wrong verb form
turning
show examples
 into a well-known actress across the world through a movie character. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
eager
Add a missing verb
are eager
show examples
 to see these stories as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
luck
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
. They frequently link the success of an actress or an
entrepreneurer
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
in
Change preposition
to
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 the coincidence
or
Correct your spelling
of
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 belonging
a
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to a
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wealthy family.
For instance
, taking
tennis
Correct article usage
a tennis
show examples
 tournament, which
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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took place almost three months ago, a 20 years old boy
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
won the Wimbledon Tournament,
however
 some
people
 state that his father is a tennis coach or his shoulder is suitable for
tennis
Correct article usage
a tennis
show examples
 career
as a result
 they have abstracted the whole success story the world of
luck
.
While
 acknowledging
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the
luck
 factor is still important, saying
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
luck
 is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 is not fair
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 behalf of winners.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
 Alcatraz
for example
, the young boy who has won the most
prestigely
Correct your spelling
prestige
pristinely
 award recently and been a champion. His father’s
occupacy
Correct your spelling
occupancy
 and his
easy-access
Correct your spelling
easy access
show examples
 to his ikigai may be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
luck
a bit of luck
a stroke of luck
a piece of luck
show examples
luck
, but without huge
effort
Add a comma
effort,
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 he could not win the championship. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
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saying just lucky when
define
Change the verb form
defining
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 his career
is meaning
Wrong verb form
means
show examples
 to overlook his dramatic
effort
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, with
acceptendance
Correct your spelling
acceptance
 of the importance of
luck
, I disagree with the idea that state
luck
 is
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paramount. I believe that
effort
 and spending enough time on our target lay the foundation of our success.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

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coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range and more precise vocabulary.
grammatical range and accuracy
Use a wider range of grammatical structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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