Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

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Nobody can deny that happiness is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essentail
Correct your spelling
essential
part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.Because
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
always
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
energy
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
can concentrate on their work and raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
, some individuals think that
money
Use synonyms
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pleasure.So,
human-being
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
can
fulifill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
their desires.But,
Community
Correct article usage
the Community
show examples
lives
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
show examples
lifestyle by doing some different activities. To start with,
firstly
Linking Words
,happiness is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main thing .Which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
our
life
Use synonyms
better.But,
money
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
matter
Change the verb form
matters
show examples
in
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
if peopel
show examples
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
want to
luxery
Correct your spelling
luxury
lifestyle
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
is important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
them.
People
Use synonyms
can achieve their goals
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
good financial support and when they attain things ,which they want earn in their
life
Use synonyms
than feel happy from their inner.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
can access better healthcare and good education.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,society
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffers
show examples
from many diseases.which
is put
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
bad effects on their health.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
poor persons can not afford the medicine and
died
Change the verb form
die
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,a survey showed that 80%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.Which was suffered from
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
disesaes
Correct your spelling
diseases
.Because they did not get medicine
proper
Change the word
properly
show examples
.Which they need due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
poverty rate.Only rich
Use synonyms
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
can approach the big hospitals.
Hence
Linking Words
,wealthy
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
get good treatment and live
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,humankind can not buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness with
money
Use synonyms
.
community
Correct article usage
The community
show examples
can purchase
every- thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
cash ,but not pleasure.
Although
Linking Words
,many
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
persons are not cherry .Because they have
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
related to their business and how they should handle the property.Community can
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
happy
Change the adjective
happily
show examples
by spending time with their
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
ones.
Indiviuals
Correct your spelling
Individuals
should participate in social work
as well as
Linking Words
run
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social organizations.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
helps to
Use synonyms
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
who
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
need
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
.In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
,
Use synonyms
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
can get gladness by
pursuring
Correct your spelling
pursuing
their hobbies and
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
in their favourite games.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
my opinion,
sound
Correct article usage
a sound
show examples
mind lives in a sound body.so,
joyful
Correct article usage
a joyful
show examples
mood
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
healthy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
us.
People
Use synonyms
should do only those things which
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
to
satification
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
to them and should earn
money
Use synonyms
.But in limit.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
rich
Correct your spelling
person
peson
Correct your spelling
people
forget how they should live their
life
Use synonyms
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wealth
  • Prosperity
  • Affluence
  • Financial security
  • Financial freedom
  • Well-being
  • Quality of life
  • Hobbies and interests
  • Travel and exploration
  • Achievement
  • Success
  • Generosity
  • Compassion
  • Empathy
  • Supportive relationships
  • Personal development
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