Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some believe studying at a university or college is the most effective way to a delightful career,
however
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; others think that it is favorable to get a
job
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after passing
school
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. In my opinion, I consider that despite
students
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could
work
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to learn
money
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management and earn some
money
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for their expenses after
school
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, one can easily find a
job
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after having a degree from a big institution with a high salary package. On the one hand, some people think that universities or college plays a crucial part in a student's better career and I agree. It is simply because people can find a
job
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very easily, as big institutions organize multiple
job
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fairs for graduates after their
studies
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are completed.
For instance
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, McMaster University of Hamilton, specially invited big pharmaceutical companies, so their
students
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could get a chance to
work
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there.
Furthermore
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,
students
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can get highly paid
work
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after graduating as some companies need employees with higher levels of
studies
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because in some fields of
work
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, higher
studies
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are needed
such
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as engineering.
On the other hand
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, some have the idea of getting a
job
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right after
school
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, as it could help
students
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to pay their debts and other study-related bills. Some people do not ask for
money
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from their parents for
studies
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and to be independent, they start part-time jobs to save
money
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for their
further
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tuition fees which could help them learn about
money
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management so they can spend wisely in the future. Apart from that, they could
also
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add their previous experience to update their resume which can help them to find another
job
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in the future.
To conclude
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,
according to
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me, one can get more benefits after graduating from college or university as they can get high wages and can easily find jobs than working after
school
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.
Submitted by ishan1502ishan on

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task response
Make sure to fully address both sides of the argument in your essay. While you have discussed the advantages of studying at university or college, you could also explore the potential benefits of getting a job straight after school.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally demonstrates a clear and logical structure. To further enhance coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and create a smooth flow of information.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is effective and appropriate for the topic. To further improve your lexical resource, try incorporating some more varied and advanced vocabulary to showcase your range of language skills.
grammatical range
Your essay shows a good command of grammar and sentence structures. However, be cautious of minor errors such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Proofreading your essay before submission can help eliminate these errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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