Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some believe studying at a university or college is the most effective way to a delightful career,
however
; others think that it is favorable to get a job
after passing school
. In my opinion, I consider that despite students
could work
to learn money
management and earn some money
for their expenses after school
, one can easily find a job
after having a degree from a big institution with a high salary package.
On the one hand, some people think that universities or college plays a crucial part in a student's better career and I agree. It is simply because people can find a job
very easily, as big institutions organize multiple job
fairs for graduates after their studies
are completed. For instance
, McMaster University of Hamilton, specially invited big pharmaceutical companies, so their students
could get a chance to work
there. Furthermore
, students
can get highly paid work
after graduating as some companies need employees with higher levels of studies
because in some fields of work
, higher studies
are needed such
as engineering.
On the other hand
, some have the idea of getting a job
right after school
, as it could help students
to pay their debts and other study-related bills. Some people do not ask for money
from their parents for studies
and to be independent, they start part-time jobs to save money
for their further
tuition fees which could help them learn about money
management so they can spend wisely in the future.
Apart from that, they could also
add their previous experience to update their resume which can help them to find another job
in the future.
To conclude
, according to
me, one can get more benefits after graduating from college or university as they can get high wages and can easily find jobs than working after school
.Submitted by ishan1502ishan on
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task response
Make sure to fully address both sides of the argument in your essay. While you have discussed the advantages of studying at university or college, you could also explore the potential benefits of getting a job straight after school.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally demonstrates a clear and logical structure. To further enhance coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and create a smooth flow of information.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is effective and appropriate for the topic. To further improve your lexical resource, try incorporating some more varied and advanced vocabulary to showcase your range of language skills.
grammatical range
Your essay shows a good command of grammar and sentence structures. However, be cautious of minor errors such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Proofreading your essay before submission can help eliminate these errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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