Chevening is looking for individuals who have a clear post-study career plan. Please outline your immediate plans upon returning home and your longer term career goals. You may wish to consider how these relate to what the UK government is doing in your country. (500)
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I agonised about two questions.
First,
why is education
unequal to students
all over the country? Second,
why is the Korean
government not protecting teachers
from infringement of teaching rights?
To commence with my story, I worked as a primary school
teacher in two different schools in Korea
. One school
was filled with students
who were fully supported by their parents. The other school
was filled with students
who were of lower income and students
with fewer resources. The latter school
students
’ academic competence was low and were not sustainable about their results. Public schools must maintain their education
system
to help the students
become better. Therefore
, my ultimate goal is to contribute to these two questions.
As soon as I come back to Korea
, I will move my department to the ‘Foreign Language Experience Center’ from my current position. In there, I will invent an education
program to teach students
with better understanding field of English and globalisation. Even if the number of multicultural students
is increasing, the percentage of students
who drop out of school
is increasing. In Korea
, there is discrimination against multicultural students
, and I want to enhance Korean
students
’ multicultural capability and remove educational inequality.
My mid-term goal is to work in the Republic of Uganda by being selected for the ‘Korean
Government-sponsored Volunteer Teachers
Program’. The Korean
government sends exchange teachers
to Africa. It runs a program that helps advance education
in Africa. They send one person a year to Uganda, and I hope the program selects me to go. South Korea
has inspired STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Mathematics) education
from England. I have been taught about convergence between subjects and ways to bring edu-technology to class when I was a candidate to get the certification as a first-rate teacher. As Korea
borrowed the education
system
from the United Kingdom, I will help introduce this
system
to Uganda’s education
system
.
My ultimate goal is to be appointed to the “Jeonnam Education
Policy Research Institute”. I hope to engage with various opinions within the education
field, monitor policies, and propose a field-oriented education
policy using my expertise in Comparative Education
. Korean
teacher training was inspired by the British model, which emphasises pedagogical skills and ongoing professional development. Therefore
, I could get full support from my government to progress in my profession. There are programs and professional learning communities to train ourselves at school
. It was so helpful to me to teach students
. Even though teachers
have professional skills in teaching, there is a problem of infringement of teaching authority. Therefore
, I will share my expertise with co-teachers
that I learned from the university, find the problem of Education
in Korea
and change the policy. I will create a safe environment to solely focus on students
. These are my career plans to realise my education
goals.Submitted by soyuyu9 on
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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. You have discussed your immediate plans upon returning home and your longer-term career goals, but make sure to clearly state how they relate to what the UK government is doing in your country.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, to improve coherence, consider using transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary and have used appropriate terms related to education. To further enhance your lexical resource, try incorporating more academic and formal vocabulary.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is generally solid with only minor errors. However, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use appropriate verb tenses consistently throughout your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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