Academic IELTS Sample 4 – The bar chart below shows the results of a survey and shows factors affecting work performance

Academic IELTS  Sample 4 – The bar chart below shows the results of a survey and shows factors affecting work performance
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The bar chart provides information about eleven factors that impact employees'
work
Use synonyms
performance.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that team spirit and
work
Use synonyms
environment play equally important roles in
work
Use synonyms
performance for both age groups.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
security has a lesser impact on both age groups. Regarding the younger generation, the highest indicator for them is the opportunity for personal development, accounting for approximately 90%.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
security and respect from colleagues are the lowest indicators,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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accounting for 40%. The second most crucial factor is a relaxed working environment, which stands at 82%.
This
Linking Words
figure is twice as high as that of the older generation. For the age group between 45 and 60 years old, the most significant factors in
work
Use synonyms
performance are money, a competent boss, and teamwork, constituting 70%, 58%, and 65% respectively.
Job
Use synonyms
security
also
Linking Words
has the lowest percentage among other factors and is half as much as that of younger employees. The figures for promotion prospects and
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction are the same at 52%.
Submitted by nn.dieuquynh on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, job with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • factors
  • work performance
  • work environment
  • job satisfaction
  • stress level
  • work-life balance
  • motivation
  • skill level
  • respondents
  • rated
  • highly important
  • positive
  • improving
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