Academic IELTS Writing task 1 Sample 4 – The bar chart below shows the results of a survey and shows factors affecting work performance
The bar chart provides information about eleven factors that impact employees'
work
performance.
Overall
, it is evident that team spirit and work
environment play equally important roles in work
performance for both age groups. In contrast
, job
security has a lesser impact on both age groups.
Regarding the younger generation, the highest indicator for them is the opportunity for personal development, accounting for approximately 90%. Conversely
, job
security and respect from colleagues are the lowest indicators, both
accounting for 40%. The second most crucial factor is a relaxed working environment, which stands at 82%. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
figure is twice as high as that of the older generation.
For the age group between 45 and 60 years old, the most significant factors in work
performance are money, a competent boss, and teamwork, constituting 70%, 58%, and 65% respectively. Job
security also
has the lowest percentage among other factors and is half as much as that of younger employees. The figures for promotion prospects and job
satisfaction are the same at 52%.Submitted by nn.dieuquynh on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, job with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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