Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #families #areas #university #education #people #universities

It is widely believed that universities will help students who are from disadvantaged families or rural areas

although

they are finding it difficult to get a university

education

. Personally, I totally agree with

this

point of view for a variety of reasons. First of all, nobody can deny that

education

will help people to change their mindset. Any person who has an

education

often shows brilliant skills in organising their life. They usually find it easy to solve problems happening daily.

In addition

, a well-educated character often becomes a helpful person in society. They know how to behave well in their relationships. They not only do bad things but

also

affect positively on everyone around them.

As a result

, I strongly believe that students who are graduated from universities will receive a lot of profits.

Furthermore

, much evidence has shown that pupils who have a university

education

have had more opportunities to find jobs than others.

This

helps to reduce stress in earning money. So those students feel happier in life.

For example

, in May of 2023, it was reported in The Daily News that over 80% of people who had gotten a university

education

didn't find it challenging to get a career. The reason why they can find a job easily is because , with basic knowledge, they can obtain new concepts quickly.

Therefore

, good chances always wait for them in future. Mr Ben Thomas, a UK famous educator, said that opportunity was created by us. In conclusion, universities are very helpful for pupils in both rural and urban areas. In my opinion, receiving a great pedagogy means receiving an amazing future.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Thu Oct 26 2023

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Task Response

Your essay provides a clear and direct response to the given task, stating your agreement with the idea that universities should help students from disadvantaged families and rural areas. However, you could further develop your argument by providing more specific reasons or examples to support your viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion

Overall, the coherence and cohesion of your essay is good. Your ideas are well-organized and logically presented. However, in some instances, the connection between sentences or paragraphs could be strengthened to enhance the overall coherence of your essay. Consider using transitional phrases or linking words to make the flow of your ideas smoother.

Lexical Resource

Your use of vocabulary is generally effective, and you demonstrate a good range of vocabulary throughout your essay. However, you could further enhance your lexical resource by using more varied and specific vocabulary, particularly when providing examples or elaborating on your points.

Grammatical Range

Your grammatical range is commendable, with only a few minor errors in sentence structure. However, to improve your grammatical accuracy, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Additionally, try to vary your sentence structures to add more complexity to your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skills such as communication and working in teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?

countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people say history is one of the most important School subjects.other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.